Timeless 14
by jakesgirl1001
Summary: Part 14 of the timeless saga of Jake and Sam
1. Chapter 1

**TIMELESS 14**

**Chapter 1**

Jake threw back his head, howling out his misery in his apartment. Sam had just told him that she had cheated on him with someone else.

To Jake, the pain was so intense, so absolute, he thought he might die from it. He wanted to die from it.

Death would be preferable to the agony he was feeling now. He felt as if someone had ripped his heart out. Someone had. Sam. The woman he loved. The woman he thought had loved him. The woman he wasn't sure he would be able to live without. He was about to find out if he could.

Finally, he had no more tears to shed. He was spent. He sobbed out his grief silently. He wanted to scream, but there was no sound. He had nothing left.

Then the chills came.

Jake crawled to his bed on his hands and knees, sobbing silently and collapsed. He curled into the fetal position, shaking and shuddering through the night.

He was ice cold but he didn't put the blanket over him. Jake knew that it wouldn't work. That wasn't why he was cold. He was cold because he was sure he was dead.

Something inside of him had died this night.

Jake had been in pain before. He had been savaged by a horse. He had broken his thigh bone. Neither of those things compared to what he was feeling now.

He knew he would heal from those things.

He knew he would never heal from this.

Jake was broken. Totally broken. His heart, his spirit and his will had been broken by the woman he loved more than his own life. Sam. Beautiful, loving Sam who had betrayed him as no one else had ever done.

She had betrayed his soul. Not just his love. Not just his heart. Not just bodily. She had destroyed his soul.

She had destroyed him.

_Please let me be dead and none of this had happened._

Jake sobbed anew. He knew it had not been a dream. He knew he wasn't dead. Not really.

For an instant, he thought about his death. Did he want to live without the woman he had called the love of his life? No, he didn't. Jake wasn't sure if he knew how to live without her.

Then his survival mode kicked in. He had gotten through devastation before. He had survived it when Sam had been sent away.

He choked on a sob. This was worse than that. Sam wouldn't be coming back. She had betrayed him.

She had betrayed him on his birthday!

Somehow, he had to go on without her. It would be difficult, he knew. She had wrapped herself around his heart so easily, so efficiently fifteen years ago when they had met.

She had destroyed him in a matter of minutes. She had destroyed everything they had, everything they had shared, everything they had planned, everything they were in a matter of minutes.

Jake rolled onto his stomach, letting the pillow stifle the scream welling up inside of him. He screamed in pain. Pain in the heart, pain in his brain, pain from exorcising the woman he had wanted to spend the rest of his life with from his soul, from his heart and lastly from his head.

The pain, the misery, the anguish was unbearable.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Jake wasn't sure how long he had lain there on his bed. He smelled himself so he thought it might have been awhile.

He sat up and wobbled. His strength was gone. He hadn't eaten since learning of Sam's betrayal. _How long ago had that been?_

Jake reached for his cell phone that he usually kept on the table next to the bed. It wasn't there. Then he remembered he had thrown it after learning of Sam's betrayal.

He glanced towards the wall where he had thrown his phone. Then he glanced at the floor, seeing the phone broken in pieces. Like his heart. The symbolism of it got to him and he choked back another sob.

He had no idea what day it was, what time it was. All he knew is that he was dead inside. She had killed him.

Jake knew he was at GBC. He also knew he had no interest in school or his classes. Could a dead person even attend class?

He booted up his computer and learned it was Monday. Jake had been dead for two days.

He put his face in his hands and sobbed anew. He sobbed until he was choking on the sobs and he didn't have anything left. Then he just sat, his head in his hands wondering what it was he should do.

Jake managed to stand without falling to his knees, stripping off his clothes. He looked down at his chest and didn't see the gaping hole he was sure he would have seen. There should be a huge hole where his heart had been. His heart had been ripped out by the woman who claimed to love him.

He stumbled to the bathroom, turning on the hot water. Jake didn't care that his skin hurt from the heat of the water. He stood under the scalding water, the tears flowing from him again. In a sense he was purging Sam from him, as if he could.

Jake fell to his knees in the shower, his head bent as the water beat down over him. A wail he had never uttered before in his life escaped from him. It circled the drain as did the dirt and smell from his body. He stayed there, kneeling in the shower until the water finally cooled.

And he still stayed. He stayed until he was shivering. Was it enough? Could he go on? Was she truly purged from his soul?

Jake didn't think she'd ever be completely purged. She had been too much to him. She had been so much to him. She had been everything to him and she had betrayed him.

He fought for himself now. It was either fight or die. He had been taught to survive.

Jake stood up, using the wall of the shower for support. He washed his hair in the cold water before getting out of the shower.

He was so cold as he stepped out of the shower and toweled himself off. Not only was his body cold, his heart and soul were cold. They were beyond cold They were frozen. He was frozen.

His anguish threatened to overcome him again, but he fought back. He had to fight back. To not fight back meant death.

For the first time, he felt the hunger in his body. Not the hunger in his heart and his soul, but the real hunger from not eating for days.

He went back into his room and got dressed.

Jake was damaged. He was broken, but he was still alive. For now, he was living though that meant not living with the one person he had dedicated his life to.

Jake was on his own.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Jake knew he had to replace his cell phone. What he didn't want was his family descending on him if they couldn't get a hold of him.

He had been sick once and Bryan and Quinn had come up to get him. No, he couldn't think of that time. Sam had let the family know he had been sick. She had cared about him then.

When he went out to his Avalanche, he squinted against the fall sunlight. It had been days since he had seen the sun. Shouldn't it be raining? He was still crying inside, shouldn't the world be also?

Jake shook himself. He had to be strong. He was going to survive this, though he didn't know how.

He got into the navy blue truck and sat in the driver's seat for a moment. Jake wondered if he should sell the Avalanche now. He had bought it when Sam had almost been lost in the avalanche years ago. It was then that he had realized he loved her more than just as his best friend. Could he drive this vehicle and not think of her?

He vowed to sell it the next time he was home. His friend Darrell owned a car dealership and would make sure Jake got a good deal. Jake needed to purge and part of the purging process would be this truck.

Gosh, he loved this truck. Gosh, he loved her. Why had she betrayed him? Why? Why, oh gosh why?

Hadn't he pleased her enough? Jake had thought the two of them had pleasured each other enough. Maybe he had just been kidding himself. Hadn't he been enough for her?

No! He couldn't think about her this way. He didn't want to think about her at all again. She had made her choice and she had betrayed him.

He couldn't help that his mind strayed back to the picture of Sam in bed with someone, yet this time it wasn't with him, it was someone else.

Jake felt the sharp pain in his chest again, his grief threatening to choke him. He started to pant, trying to keep the pain deep inside. It bubbled up in him, stronger than he was at the moment.

He slumped in his seat, his head against the seat as the tears spilled again. Why Sam, why?

That was what he kept asking himself. Why had she done it? It was something he'd never know. He certainly wasn't going to ask her. Maybe when he was eighty or ninety he could see her again without being consumed by the overpowering pain and grief he was suffering now.

Jake knew he was kidding himself. He would be suffering just as greatly then. He knew he would suffer the loss for the rest of his life.

He wiped his eyes and turned the key on his truck. Glancing in the rearview mirror to see if it was clear to back out, he got his first real look at himself. He barely recognized himself, which was fitting.

The old Jake was dead. In his place was a new, damaged Jake. His hand touched his chest above his heart. He felt the beating, even though he knew his heart really wasn't there.

It had been ripped out, stomped on and forever damaged. Just like him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Jake was returning to his apartment, new cell phone in his pocket. The person who had waited on him had been thorough. He had asked if Jake wanted to keep the same phone number or perhaps have a new one.

Jake had taken a few minutes to decide. New life, new phone number, right? He had chosen the new number. He would call his family and let them know the new number when he got home. It would take at least that long to be able to talk rationally to his family.

He wouldn't tell them about Sam's betrayal. They'd learn about that soon enough. He'd be home for Thanksgiving…

Jake stopped his thought process. Would he be home for Thanksgiving? For what did have to be thankful for? The woman he considered his wife, from the first moment they had been intimate together, had betrayed him with another man.

Maybe he wouldn't go home for Thanksgiving. He certainly didn't want to take the chance of running into Sam during that time.

He knew his feelings would still be too raw for that. Ha! When wouldn't they be?

The eighty or ninety years old ran through his brain again. Not even then would be enough time to get over this.

Jake thought of his grandfather Mac. He needed to call him. Suddenly Jake remembered the looks that Mac had given him a few times in the past. He would bet his grandfather had known this was going to happen.

His hands shook on the steering wheel. Could Mac really have known or had Jake been imagining things? Like Jake had imagined that Sam had loved him.

Oh my gosh, why hadn't she loved him? Why hadn't he been enough for her?

His grief threatened to overpower him again. He needed to get back to his apartment.

What he needed to do was decide if he was going to stay at GBC or quit college. He didn't want to, knowing his mother would be upset, but Jake didn't have the heart for it right now. Maybe he'd leave the decision until after he had talked to Mac.

Why, he didn't know. What could Mac tell him? Maybe Mac would know whether or not Jake would heal from this? Whether or not he and Sam….

No, that was over. She had betrayed him and to Jake loyalty was a very important quality. He could never trust her again. Not with his heart, not with his soul as he had done.

Maybe they could be friends again one day, but Jake even doubted that. She had devastated him. She had killed him with this betrayal.

He might be alive, driving home to his apartment, but inside he was dead. She had killed him.

_Why Sam, why?_

He had to stop this. Obviously Sam didn't care about him the way he had cared about her. He needed to remember that.

Jake reached his apartment and got out of the truck. He stood next to it, looking at it. The navy Avalanche had been a great truck for him. Jake ran his hand along the door. It had to go. Anything that reminded him of the betrayal had to be purged, just as he had to be purged.

"Oh gosh, Brat," Jake hung his head for a moment.

No, he couldn't call her that anymore either. That had been a beloved nickname. He had to let that go too.

What would be left of him when everything of Sam was gone?

Jake had no idea, but he bet there wouldn't be much left.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Hello?" Mac's voice came over the phone as he answered Jake's call.

"Hello Grandfather," Jake knew his voice sounded deadened. Heck, he was deadened. No, he was dead, though he didn't really know the difference at this point.

"Jake?" Mac asked.

"Yes," Jake answered.

"This isn't your regular phone number," Mac said.

"No," Jake responded. "I had to get a new phone."

"You couldn't get the same number?" Mac wondered.

"No," Jake could hear how bleak he sounded. "I didn't want the same number."

"What is wrong, Jacob?" Mac almost whispered. He heard the despair in his grandson's voice.

"You know what is wrong," Jake's voice rose in accusation. "Why couldn't you tell me? You knew and yet you couldn't tell me?"

He heard Mac's sigh. "It has happened?"

Jake nodded, not trusting his voice at the moment.

"I knew there was trouble on the horizon, but not what," Mac told him. "Tell me."

"Sam cheated on me," Jake fought against the wailing of his voice that threatened to come out.

Mac sucked in a breath. He had known it would be bad. His visions had shown him a blackness, but he knew this was as bad as it could get for Jake. It would be kinder to him if Sam had died.

Instead by betraying Jake, she had virtually killed him. Emotionally, he was dead inside. Mac knew that. He knew his grandson well enough to know that.

"I'm sorry Jake," Mac flinched at how inadequate the words were. There was nothing he could do to save his grandson the pain. Only Jake could save himself. Mac hoped that Jake would want to.

"What do I do?" Jake couldn't help but ask. "I'm so lost."

Mac was frightened for Jake. His grandson was twenty one years old and Mac had never heard Jake so utterly despondent. Jake had never asked for help this way. He had never admitted he was lost.

"You live," Mac told him. "You go on."

"How?" Jake almost sobbed. "She was everything to me."

"Maybe you need to become everything to yourself," Mac said.

Jake was shaking his head even though he knew Mac couldn't see him.

"I don't want to be here," Jake was saying.

"You need to stay and finish out your education," Mac told him. "It's important to your mother that you do so."

"I don't care," he knew he sounded childish, but he didn't care about that or his education right then.

Jake knew he had to ask something. He tried not to, but it came out anyway.

"Will Sam and I…," he began.

"I don't know," Mac cut him off. "Just as I didn't see the specifics, I can't see anymore. I just knew there was blackness ahead."

"Okay," Jake sighed. He needed to exorcise her out of him.

"Come visit me when you come home next and we will do a ceremony," Mac seemed to read his mind again.

"I'm not sure when I'm coming home," Jake warned him. "I can't see her…"

"I understand," Mac murmured. "You two don't travel in the same circles when you are apart. You won't see her."

Jake nodded, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I'll see what I can do," that was as good as Jake could do at the moment.

"That is good enough for now," Mac told him.

"Will I…," Jake broke off.

"You will live again, Jacob," Mac promised.

Somehow Jake doubted that, but he didn't tell his grandfather that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Though he didn't want to, Jake started attending his classes again. He decided that Mac had been right. He had come this far. He would graduate college in the spring. He wasn't a quitter. He could go on without Samantha Forster.

Jake had packed away all the pictures he had of her and shipped them home. He didn't even want them in the apartment for fear he would sit in the middle of them and start crying again.

He still had bad moments, but he tried to get through them.

His family knew about the breakup. Jake knew that Mac had warned them all.

Quinn had called with the news that Debi was expecting twin girls, hoping it would cheer up his younger brother. Jake had put on a good front.

He was happy for his brother, but he didn't want to hear about everyone else's happy endings when he was in such pain.

Jake tried to get through the lonely weeks before he went home for Thanksgiving. He had called Darrell to warn him that he would be selling the Avalanche and to let him know if there were any good deals on another truck.

Darrell had been confused, knowing how much Jake had loved the Avalanche and what it had meant symbolically to him. Jake simply told Darrell that he and Sam had broken up. Any further details could come out later, maybe.

Mom called a week before Thanksgiving to tell him something had arrived for him.

"It's a package," Mom said, the sorrow in her voice telling Jake that it had to be from Sam.

"From her?" Jake had a hard time saying her name aloud.

"Yes," Mom murmured, her heart breaking for her youngest son.

"Go ahead and open it," Jake told her.

"Are you sure, honey?" Mom was surprised.

"Yes," Jake's voice was totally without emotion.

Mom thought he sounded indifferent though she knew how badly he was hurting.

"Okay if you're sure," Maxine said, opening the package.

A few minutes later, Jake heard her soft sob. Had Sam shipped his broken heart, the one she had ripped out of his chest, to his mother?

"It's her ring," Mom was crying. "And the turtle necklace and earrings."

Jake bit his lip, trying to block everything out when all he wanted to do was scream.

"You can throw it all out," Jake's request shocked his mother.

"What?" Mom yelped. "No, Jake I can't."

"I don't want any of it," Jake said.

"Then you can do it when you get home," Mom told him. "I can't do that."

Jake shrugged, surprised at himself. Is that what he wanted to do? He really wasn't sure, but it had just slipped out.

"Okay," Jake went on. "Just throw the box on my dresser and I'll deal with it when I get home."

"I'm so sorry, honey," Mom couldn't wipe her tears away fast enough.

"She made her choice," Jake's deadened voice surprised both of them. "It's over now. It's truly over."

Jake had come to realize that when his mother had told him she had returned the engagement ring and the turtle jewelry he had given her. Maybe that meant that she was now accepting jewelry from the bastard she had betrayed him with.

"I better go, Mom," Jake felt the despair welling up inside of him again and he didn't want his mother to witness his breakdown.

"I love you honey," Mom murmured, the tears evident in her voice.

"Thanks Mom," Jake couldn't say the word _love_ yet. Not even to his mother. He hung up.

He wondered if any type of love inside of him had been damaged by Sam's treachery. Jake wouldn't doubt it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Jake knew it had been a mistake to come home. His family treated him like he was broken. Well he was, but he didn't want to be treated so fragilely. He was afraid he would break down if they did.

Even his brothers hugged him, and not man hugs, when he had walked into the house. Neither of his sister-in-laws could look at him without bursting into tears.

Jake had looked at Nate and Quinn, pleading with them with this eyes to do something. Both of his brothers had put their arms around their wives and led them into the family room, away from Jake.

Then his mother had grabbed him, hugged him, wetting his shirt with her tears. Jake had almost lost it then. Dad had seen it on his son's face and pried Mom away from him.

"Let the boy breathe, Maxine," Dad said.

Jake gave him a grateful look and made his escape to his room.

The first thing he saw was the small box on his dresser. Like a moth to a flame, he couldn't stay away from it. He picked up the box and looked inside. Jake was able to choke back his sorrow as he looked down at it.

The three diamond ring mocked him with its brightness in the overhead lights of his room. He wanted to pitch it at the wall like he had done to his cell phone, but something stopped him.

Maybe he would give the stones to his nieces when they were older. Maybe he'd have another niece that he could give the third diamond to.

As to the turtle jewelry, he had idea what to do with them. He opened his underwear drawer and threw the box inside, then slammed it shut again.

Darn her for doing this to him!

Jake felt a feeling of hate flow through his body. At this moment he hated her. He hated what she had done to him. He hated that she had thought so little of him to give herself to another man.

He shuddered. He needed to get out of this room, but he didn't want to see the pitying looks of his family either.

Jake changed his clothes, strapped on his spurs and started towards the front door.

"Where are you going, honey?" Mom was shocked to see him leaving as he strode through the family room.

"Out," Jake almost snarled his response.

"Let him be, Maxine," Dad told her. "He needs to get rid of the demons which are hounding him."

"But…," Mom began.

"Leave him be," Dad said more strongly. "He's in a dangerous place right now after what Sam did. Surely you can see that."

The others in the room flinched at Dad's harsh words. They saw the frightened look on Mom's face.

"Coddling him isn't what he needs," Dad continued. "This is worse than when she was sent away. Much, much worse. Dad sees a lot of darkness in front of Jake."

Mom choked on a sob. Her poor baby boy. Her poor youngest son who had always been so different than the rest. So strong and yet so weak.

Sadly, Mom met her husband's eyes and nodded. He put his arm around her shoulder as she cried into it.

"I just can't believe that Sammy…," Quinn shook his head, Debi's face buried into his strong shoulder.

"She did," Dad flicked his eyes to that of his son's.

Quinn nodded sadly.

Things were just so wrong right now for all of them. They had loved Sam and she had betrayed one of them. It was just so wrong.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Jake urged his mare to run faster. She stretched out into a gallop, her long black trail streaming behind her. Jake felt as if the demons within him were chasing him, which they were.

Once again it was just he and his mare. As it had been when the woman he had loved had left him when she was twelve.

Jake couldn't even say her name anymore. It hurt to say her name, it hurt to think her name. When he did forget and say her name either in his mind or aloud, all the feelings of hurt and betrayal hit him full in the face again. It threatened to bring him to his knees once more.

Right now, the tears he shed flew off his face as Witch ran. They didn't count if they didn't fall down his face, did they?

With each hoof beat her name resonated in his head. Sam-an-tha, Sam-an-tha, Sam-an-tha. Why Sam why? Why Sam why? I loved you, I loved you.

With a savage growl, he pulled the big, black mare into a sliding halt. Witch fought him, tossing her head and snorting under him. Jake snarled the mare's name and she quieted.

As much as he would deny it to anyone who asked, he missed her. She had been so much a part of his life, it felt strange not to call her, not to see her when he was home. Not to touch her, kiss her, make love to her. Oh gosh, how he had loved to make love to her.

Jake looked towards her home. He had to force himself not to ride towards it. He wanted to ask her why to her face.

Why Sam, why?

_Just tell me why I wasn't enough for you. Was it all an act? Was he better than I was?_

Jake's pride had taken a hit. She had been his first and he had thought she would be his last, but obviously she hadn't felt the same.

Was he that bad of a lover that she had to find someone else?

He was so deep in thought he didn't hear the approaching riders. It wasn't until Witch snorted that he looked up and saw the three riders coming towards him.

Jake quickly wiped his eyes, hoping to eradicate any sign of his weakness. Especially in front of her father.

The two men kept their eyes on the other as Wyatt approached. It was then that Jake noticed Wyatt wasn't riding Banjo the horse that Jake had trained and Wyatt had bought from him. Instead the older man was riding a horse the color of white pearls. It looked like some type of Perlino.

Jake's eyes flicked to the two men who rode with Wyatt, his ranch hands Pepper and Ross. Both looked at him sympathetically and Jake knew that they knew about him and Sam. He quickly blanked out his expression, not wanting anyone, especially those at River Bend, to know just how devastated he was over her loss.

"Jake," Wyatt greeted him. Jake saw the empathy, but ignored it.

"Wyatt," Jake nodded towards him and the other two cowboys.

Wyatt wanted to ask the younger man how he was, but Jake's expression clearly warned against it.

"New horse?" Jake tried to sound casual and normal.

"Mustang," Wyatt explained. "Brynna got it for me for my birthday after I sold Banjo. You'll be glad to hear the compliments I received for how well trained he was. I couldn't refuse the offer."

Jake simply nodded.

Wyatt glanced at his cowboys and they moved off.

"Meet you back at the ranch, Boss," Pepper said, pulling his horse away.

Jake waited, apprehensive. Should he leave before Wyatt said anything? He gathered his reins and Witch started to dance under him, picking up his tension.

"She's gone," Wyatt told the younger man.

Jake didn't say anything.

"I wanted you to know that she's not at River Bend," Wyatt continued. "I hope this summer you'll train for me again."

"I don't know," Jake barely was able to say.

Wyatt nodded. Jake saw the sadness in the older man's eyes and he was nearly undone.

"I'm not sure what happened between you two, but she left school," Wyatt said. "She said she couldn't come back. Whatever it was, she was pretty tore up about it."

_She_ was tore up about it? She had destroyed him.

Jake didn't say anything as Witch shifted under him.

The two men nodded and then each turned for their homes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

The months dragged for Jake. Even though he told his family he was too busy with school to buy anything for Christmas, they knew he wasn't in much of a celebrating mood.

The Elys tried to make it special anyway since it was Hunter's first Christmas. They decided to put everything into that and try not to make Jake any more uncomfortable.

He managed to survive Christmas without thinking of her too much. Sometimes when he was alone in his room, unable to sleep, his mind would wander to her. To what they had shared together.

Sometimes he still cried. He hated that he did.

While Mac had come over for Christmas, it was Jake who had driven his new Ford F-150 to the Shoshone reservation for the purifying ceremony. To Jake it was still strange to be driving something besides his Avalanche. He was still getting used to the new truck, which was similar to what Nate drove. Only the colors were different.

Mac was burning sweet grass and sage when Jake stepped into the house.

"Welcome Jacob," Mac had greeted him solemnly.

Jake had stood awkwardly by the door, not sure what to do.

Mac waved him forward as he started chanting in Shoshone. Mac waved the sweet grass in the four directions, north, south, east and west, before waving it in front of Jake while still chanting.

The smoke made Jake's eyes burn. He rubbed them to keep the tears from the smoke from falling from his eyes. It was the smoke, right? The tears had to be from the smoke.

Still Mac chanted, waving the sweet grass in front of his grandson.

Jake couldn't keep up with the tears from the smoke. They fell down his face, off his chin. Mac either pretended not to or really didn't notice.

Jake squeezed his eyes shut to keep the smoke from the sweet grass out of them, and yet the tears still fell. He hummed along to the song that Mac was chanting. Soon he was singing along with it though until now he hadn't known the words.

Together the elder Shoshone and his grandson sang the ancient song of the Shoshone. Jake felt the tension and the pain draining from him. His voice rose to echo what his grandfather was chanting and singing.

Jake felt renewed in Mac's house as the song faded away. He stood, his head at first bowed, then he raised his head, opening his eyes to look into the dark eyes so much like his own.

He nodded and Mac nodded in return.

"It is good that you came to me, Jake," Mac told him.

"Yes Grandfather it is," Jake responded.

"You may always love her, but you can go on now," Mac continued.

"Can I?" Jake wondered.

"You must," Mac countered.

"I just don't know why," Jake knew he sounded like a little boy, but it was the truth.

"Maybe someday you will," Mac looked closely at his grandson. "Maybe someday it will matter. Maybe not."

Jake snorted. It was such the Indian way to wonder yet leave it in the hands of fate. It was so unlike Jake.

"You will be stronger now," Mac predicted.

"Maybe," Jake murmured with a shrug. "Thank you, Grandfather."

"Live Jake," Mac told him. "You must live."

Jake nodded, overcome with emotion

"You must live," Mac said again.

"I must live," Jake repeated.

"You must live," Mac's voice dropped to almost a whisper.

"I must live," Jake's voice got stronger.

"You will live," Mac did whisper. "There is a new dawn coming."

"I will live," Jake said. He looked his grandfather in the eye. "I will live."

Mac nodded, giving thanks in Shoshone that his grandson might soon be whole again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Jake was graduating from Great Basin College. Though it had taken a strength he wasn't sure he had, he had gone back to GBC after Christmas reenergized and wanting to continue.

Sometimes on long lonely nights, he thought about the woman he had loved, but not as much as he used to. He felt he was starting to heal.

His family was with him in Elko, all except Debi and Quinn. Debi had given birth to their twin daughters, Monique and Natalie.

Mom thought they looked just like Quinn. Jake would see them for the first time when he got home.

First though he had to get through this day. Today was her birthday and Jake couldn't help but think of her as he sat waiting to pick up his diploma.

He glanced up at the crowd, wishing for a moment that she was there. Then Jake frowned. What good were wishes? She wasn't there. She would never be there. She had betrayed him.

Mac watched from the stands and knew the moment Jake had thought about Sam. He saw the bowed head from where he sat.

_Be strong my son, a new dawn awaits you._

Jake lifted his head, banishing all thoughts of her. He had been doing so much better.

She had made her choice and he had made his. To live.

Jake heard the applause from his family as he became the first Ely son to graduate from college. Kit had flown in from Hawaii, without Cricket, who was expecting their first son in a few weeks. Adam and Sherri had driven in with the rest of the family from Reno. Sherri too was pregnant and expecting in the fall.

Jake tossed his cap into the air without enthusiasm. Then he made his way towards his family.

He could tell immediately that Kit had been told not to mention her name.

"Hey Jake," Kit gave him a hug. "Congratulations."

He could see the sympathy in Kit's eyes.

"I'm alright," Jake told him, meeting the eyes of his oldest brother.

Kit just nodded.

Bryan also gave him a man hug, then Nate.

"Congratulations, little brother," Bryan grinned at him.

"Thanks Bry," Jake managed to smile back, maybe his first natural smile in so long. Since she had ripped out his heart. No, he wasn't looking back.

Jake met Mac's eyes and the two of them nodded.

"Congratulations, Jacob," Mac told him and Jake knew he wasn't just talking about graduating.

"Thank you, Grandfather," and Mac understood what he was saying.

"I wasn't sure, if we should forego your party," Mom broke in.

_Because of Sam_, were the unspoken words.

"I'd rather not have one," Jake told her and Mom's eyes filled with tears but she nodded.

Jake's eyes flicked to those of his father and Dad held out his hand and Jake shook it before his father hugged him, giving Jake a pat on the back.

"We're proud of you honey," Mom said.

"Thanks Mom," Jake responded.

"Do you want someone to ride back with you?" Mom asked.

"No," Jake shook his head. "I like the time to clear my head."

_Of Sam_, the unspoken words hung in the air.

His family nodded, all standing around him in awkwardness.

"Well," Dad said and the rest of them told Jake they'd see him at home in a few hours.

"He's thinking of her," Kit said as the family started towards their vehicles.

"It must be terrible for him," Adam murmured.

"It will get better," Mom told them.

"Will it?" Nate couldn't help but wonder.

They all looked at Nate before glancing back at Jake who was still standing where they had left him. He looked forlorn.

"I'll ride with Jakey," Kit volunteered and trotted back towards his little brother.

"Sometimes I think he's doing better, then I see him like that," Mom bit her lip to keep the tears inside.

Dad put his arm around his wife's shoulders and gave her a squeeze.

"He will be fine, Maxine," Dad assured her. "He's already better than he was."

Mac nodded in agreement and Mom sighed.

She hoped they were right, but she couldn't help worrying about her youngest son, her baby.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Kit and Jake rode in silence towards Three Ponies. Kit wasn't sure what to say to his little brother. He only knew not to mention anything about the woman who had broken his heart.

Kit had been shocked and stunned to hear what had happened between Jake and Sam. He felt it was so unlike Samantha to cheat on Jake, that he couldn't help but wonder why she had done it.

The last time he had seen them together had been at Adam's wedding. The couple had looked so in love. They couldn't keep their eyes or their hands off of each other. They were always smiling into the eyes of the other, their hands touching some part of the other.

What had happened? Why had Sam betrayed Jake this way? It was totally out of character for her.

Jake felt his brother's eyes on him.

"I don't know," Jake murmured, surprising Kit.

It really shouldn't surprise him. Jake had always been intuitive, which is why he was so good with horses. Kit had that ability too, but not to the extent that Jake did.

"I mean…," Kit broke off when Jake gave a sharp shake to his head.

"I'm sorry, Jake," Kit said instead.

"Yeah," Jake's voice was barely above a whisper and Kit's heart broke for him. Jake might be putting up a good front of everyone else, but he was still miserable. He might always be miserable.

Kit tried to think of what he'd be like if Cricket cheated on him and he felt the pain in his heart. It would kill him. He would be angry too. Bitterly angry. He glanced at Jake who was watching him out of the corner of his eye.

"I _am_ angry," Jake said, surprising Kit again.

"Maybe it's good that she left the area," Kit told him.

Jake only nodded.

They rode in silence again for a couple of hours. Kit not wanting to push Jake. He knew his little brother well enough to know that Jake would have to deal with all of this in his own way, but he was hopeful that Jake could.

"Is that a woman?" Kit pointed some time later towards someone bending over a flat tire, trying to change it.

"Yeah," Jake said, pulling up behind the car and shutting off the truck.

The woman looked up, apprehensive at having two strange men stopping.

Jake noticed the GBC sticker on her window. He rolled down the window and leaned out.

"Need some help?" he asked.

"I, uh, I, ah…," the woman was cautious.

"Do you go to Great Basic College?" Jake wondered, pointing to the sticker on her back window.

Kit glanced at his little brother. He hadn't even noticed the sticker.

"Yeah," the woman nodded.

Kit saw the dark hair, the dark face and wondered if she were Indian. She wore sunglasses so he couldn't see her eyes.

"I just graduated from there," Jake said and Kit knew he was trying to calm the woman, like a skittish horse. Then he would be able to help her change the tire.

"Me too," the woman responded. "You look familiar, were you in any of my classes?"

Jake shrugged, not knowing. He hadn't really looked at other women when he had been with _her_. She had been enough for him even though he hadn't been enough for her.

"Do you want some help?" Jake asked casually, looking bored. Anyone who knew him knew that when he looked bored, he usually was anything but.

Kit was watching his little brother calm this woman and saw her look at Jake, then at him.

"Sure," the woman finally nodded. "I can't figure out this jack thing."

Jake gave a nod and opened the truck door. Kit did the same and got out of the truck.

"I'm Jake Ely and this is my brother Kit," Jake offered his name to the woman, further calming her.

"I'm LaDawna Sanchez," the woman said in response. "Most people just call me Dawn."

"Well Dawn, let's see if we can get you on your way," Kit said with a smile.

"Thank you," Dawn murmured, but she was looking at Jake.

Kit hid a smile, hoping his younger brother saw it.

It might do Jake some good to realize that other women found him attractive. There was life after Sam.

Kit frowned, still finding it hard that the woman he had considered his little sister, had always considered his little sister, could have done this to Jake. Something wasn't right somewhere.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Kit helped Jake jack up Dawn's car and change the tire. When they put the flat tire in her trunk, Dawn thanked them.

"I really can't thank you enough for helping me," Dawn had put up her sunglasses and Kit saw her dark eyes. She could pass for Indian with her black hair, dark skin and eyes.

"It's not a problem," Kit told her. "Where are you headed? Maybe we could follow you while on the highway to make sure you make it to your exit."

Dawn looked at Kit, assessing. Jake's eyes flicked to Kit's, asking silently what he was doing.

"I live near Fernley," Dawn told them.

"We go right by Fernley," Kit smiled. "We're from near Darton."

"No kidding?" Dawn laughed. "Small world."

"Very small," Kit laughed, looking at Jake.

Jake was still watching Kit.

"Are you sure you don't mind following me?" Dawn asked.

"Not a bit," Kit assured her. "Right Jake?"

"Right," Jake murmured.

"Thanks," Dawn got back in her car.

Jake and Kit got back in Jake's truck.

"What are you doing?" Jake asked his oldest brother as he started his new truck.

"Bein' neighborly," Kit grinned at him.

"Uh huh," Jake grunted, pulling out onto the highway after Dawn.

"She's a beautiful woman," Kit pointed out.

Jake didn't answer.

Kit then wondered if maybe he might be pushing things. He hated seeing Jake so down, so miserable.

"I'm sorry, Jakey," Kit murmured. "I just want you to be happy."

"I know," Jake surprised Kit by answering. "She's pretty. I'm just…" Jake shook his head.

"Just what?" Kit pushed.

Jake shook his head again.

"Even though you didn't ask, I'm still going to give you a piece of advice," Kit told him.

Jake flicked his eyes once to Kit and Kit took that as permission.

"She hurt you badly, Jakey, I know that," Kit said. "It would kill me if Cricket did that to me. I'd be mighty pissed too. But I'd hate for you to be alone for the rest of your life because of it."

Jake looked over at Kit and for an instant Kit saw the misery that Jake had been keeping inside. Jake however, nodded again.

"Grandfather believes in fate and that people and situations are put in front of us for a reason," Kit went on. Then he shrugged and jerked his head towards Dawn's car in front of them. "Who knows."

Jake didn't say anything, but Kit glanced over and saw him watching Dawn's car. The two brothers didn't say much on the rest of the trip until Dawn pulled over near the exit to Fernley.

She got out of the car and ran towards Jake's truck, stopping at his window. Jake hit the button to roll the window down.

"Thank you again," Dawn said, glancing at Kit, but looking mostly at Jake. "If there's anything I can ever do to thank you, call me."

She slipped Jake a piece of paper with her name and phone number on it.

Jake merely nodded at her and with a smile and a wave, Dawn ran back to her car and pulled off the highway.

Jake stared at the piece of paper and for a moment Kit thought his little brother would pitch it out the window. Instead, Jake tucked it into the front pocket of his jeans without a word.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Kit went back to Hawaii and the rest of the family went on roundup. They were worried that Jake would have trouble being with those from River Bend and Dad had asked if Jake wanted to skip roundup or if Dad should tell Wyatt they'd have separate roundups this year.

Jake had told his father that he was all right. Jake knew that she wouldn't be there. He could get through it as long as he didn't have to see or interact with her.

Dad had nodded, clapped his hand on his son's shoulders and left him.

The night before they left for roundup, Jake had lain in his bed, looking up at the ceiling. He at least was sleeping better. She didn't invade his dreams as much as she used to. He'd remember the lavender smell of her skin for the rest of his life, but he could barely remember how her skin felt when he touched it. It was one of those things that he was better off not remembering.

No, those things were better left unremembered.

Jake had sighed. He missed those things, but he missed talking to her and laughing with her more. They could talk to each other with just a glance sometimes. Carry on whole conversations without saying a word.

He was done crying over her though. He was determined not to do that anymore.

Jake wasn't sure he'd ever love again like he had loved her, but he felt that maybe someday he could love someone close to that.

He remembered the piece of paper in his drawer and thought that maybe after roundup he might call the number on it. He'd have to see how he felt afterwards.

Unable to sleep, he had gotten up and gone outside into the cool Nevada night. Jake had seen the house that was being built for them and wondered if he should have it torn down. It seemed to mock him sometimes. Maybe Bryan would want it when he married Cara. He would ask him about it maybe on roundup.

Jake went down to the river and sat on the bank. He couldn't help remember the times the two of them had sat at the river's edge. There had been so many times both when they were younger and when they were older.

He looked down at the river, remembering their turtle races and the turtle she had named after him. At the time, he had been frustrated with her because she insisted that the turtle looked at him. Afterwards, he had been flattered and hopeful that doing that had meant she cared for him as more than a friend, as he did her.

_Stop it_, he chastised himself. He had to stop thinking about her. In order for him to move ahead in his life, he had to leave her behind. She had no problems leaving him behind when she had slept with that guy she had slept with. Why couldn't he do the same?

Jake was determined that he could and that he would. He made a promise to call that girl, Dawn was her name, as soon as he got back from roundup in two weeks.

Grandfather had told him a new dawn was ahead for him. Maybe that was a sign that Dawn was meant to be in his life.

Jake snorted. He was not one to believe in signs, though he had felt the coldness and read the fortune cookie's message before she had done this to him. Maybe if he had believed more in signs none of this would have happened.

"No," Jake chastised himself aloud.

She had done this to them of her own free will. None of the other stuff had meant anything, she had done this all on her own.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Jake was sitting on Witch while Wyatt was talking to him. Jake had his black Stetson pulled down low over his eyes. Nobody could see his eyes, which was the way he liked it.

If nobody could see his eyes, then he could hide. He still had to hide sometimes, especially from her grandmother. Grace seemed to be able to see behind his façade, just as Mac did. It was easier to just avoid it.

Jake nodded at Wyatt was saying. He appreciated her father. He too was a cowboy and wouldn't ask any pressing questions about what had happened.

It was done, over, now move on. To Jake it was all part of surviving.

He was thankful that the Ely women had stayed home. That meant he shared a tent with Nate, Bryan and Quinn again. Otherwise, he might have to be alone. Being alone meant that he had too much time to think. And having too much time to think always brought his thoughts back to her.

His brothers were unsure around him, Jake could tell. They didn't joke around like they used to. They were careful about what they said to him.

At night when they went back to their tent, they sat around and played cards. No one mentioned her and how she had slept next to Jake the last time.

No, he couldn't think about that. It was over. She was gone. It was strange not seeing her there. The horse he had given her was in the remuda. Jake hadn't been able to sell it yet. The Paint was a good horse and he could always use a good horse. Jake was undecided what to do with the sorrel tobiano.

"So what do you think, Jake?" Wyatt's question pulled Jake back from his daydreaming.

"I think it could work," Jake had been paying attention even though his mind had wandered.

Wyatt nodded. "I think the route's better."

"So do I," Jake said.

"Then let's do it," Wyatt suggested and Jake nodded.

He glanced up at the other man and wished that he hadn't. Jake had made a practice not to look anyone directly in the face. It went back to the protection thing. If he didn't look into anyone's face, he couldn't see the looks of pity being directed at him.

It had been seven months since she had betrayed him. He _was_ healing. He didn't need their looks of pity any longer. Did he look that bad that he still evoked pity?

Now Wyatt was looking at him, assessing him. Jake sighed and decided to let him look. Let her father see that he was just fine. His wounds were hidden away where nobody else could see them.

Wyatt gave a sharp nod, almost as if to himself. Jake hoped that meant the pitying looks would stop.

Jake pulled Witch back and turned her to jog back towards where his brothers and the River Bend cowboys had the herd contained.

"We're going to go around the bad parts," Jake told Nate. "Wyatt thinks we'll have less loss that way."

"Good thinking," Nate nodded, his eyes flicking to where Wyatt was. "You doing okay?"

"I'm fine," Jake told him, meeting his eyes briefly.

"You were pretty restless last night," Nate went on.

"It happens," Jake shrugged. "I'm fine."

"You know where I am…," Nate began.

"Yeah," Jake cut him off. He pulled Witch away and walked her towards the twins.

Nate watched him go, not fooled for a moment.

Sam would always be a part of him, Nate thought. She would always be a part of all of them. She had been too much part of their lives not to be.

Like the rest of the Elys, Nate wished he could ask her what the heck had happened that she had cheated on his youngest brother. Nate still found it hard to believe at times.

The two had been so much in love. They'd had such a bond that began the day they had met.

Nate shook his head, not understanding how this could have happened.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Jake had gotten through roundup. It had been better than he thought. He was so tired at night that after a quick game of cards with Nate, Bryan and Quinn he was able to fall asleep. He rarely dreamed of her when he was so tired.

Jake was debating on whether or not to call Dawn. She had seemed like a nice woman. She was pretty and totally the opposite in looks from….no, he wasn't going to compare every woman he met to her. How she looked didn't matter to him anymore. Really. No, really.

Jake snorted. She had been perfection to him. That perfection obviously had drawn in other men and she had cheated on him. Betrayed him. Almost killed him. He could say _almost_ now. He was healing.

One of the things Jake hated the most was that he couldn't listen to the radio anymore. One day he had been reading in his room and a song came on that brought back all the pain and anguish.

Jake had broken down again during the song. He had quickly gotten up and turned off the radio. Too many songs reminded him of her. He didn't want to be reminded of her any more.

He had been standing by the dresser where he had put Dawn's number. He stared at that drawer for what seemed like ages.

_Dinner or lunch wasn't making a commitment_, he told himself. Jake was basically a shy guy. The only girl he had never been shy around had been _her_. Would he be able to talk to Dawn normally or would he sit there like a bump on a log, making it worse?

He'd just call her, suggest meeting for lunch, at anywhere but Clara's, and see what she said.

Jake pulled the drawer open and saw the box which contained _her_ engagement ring and the turtle jewelry. With a growl, he stuffed it way back under his underwear and then grabbed the piece of paper with the phone number on it.

He could do this. Oh gosh, he was nervous. He had never called a strange woman before.

Jake glanced at the closed door of this room. Maybe he needed help. Who was he going to ask? Quinn? Quinn would probably laugh himself silly at his almost twenty two year old brother being afraid to call a woman.

His brothers were, or had been, since they were all married now except for Bryan who was getting married soon, so good with women. Jake had only wanted one woman and she had ripped his heart out and stomped on it for good measure.

He shook his head. No, he was done thinking about _her_ and what she had done to him. Today was a new day and he could do this.

Jake took the paper back to the bed with him, sitting down and staring at it for a few minutes before he picked up his cell phone and dialed.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Jake parked his truck in the parking lot of the restaurant where he was supposed to meet Dawn and sat for a few moments. He saw Dawn's car, knowing she was already there.

This was a big step for Jake. He'd never been on a date with anyone except _her_. He had known her his whole life so when they had started going out, it wasn't that big of a difference. _This_ was a whole other thing.

_Relax Jake_, he told himself. This is lunch not a proposal. This was no different than meeting Darrell for lunch. He could do this.

Jake got out of the truck and stood in the parking lot. He looked towards the restaurant, wondering if Dawn was looking out the window and wondering what was wrong with him.

Jake looked away towards the mountains. _She_ had crept into his brain for a second. _Damn you Sam! _Jake looked down, swallowing deeply trying to keep the anger, the anguish, the misery down deep inside of him.

He gave a longsuffering sigh and headed towards the door. Jake pulled it open, going inside.

"Jake!" he heard his name and nodded towards Dawn. Taking another deep breath, he started towards her.

"Hi," Dawn greeted him.

"H…," Jake's throat was so tight he couldn't talk.

"Hi," he tried again.

Dawn gave him a smile and Jake was sure it was one of encouragement. He felt like a child.

"Isn't it a beautiful day?" Dawn asked.

Jake looked at her, startled.

Dawn blushed. "I'm sorry, I'm trying to put you at ease."

Jake's mouth twitched. "It's working, I guess."

"Good," Dawn picked up a menu to quickly look at it.

Jake wasn't sure what else to say.

"You're shy aren't you?" Dawn said, surprising him again.

"Yeah," Jake wouldn't look at her.

"It's okay," Dawn told him. "My family would tell you I'm anything but shy."

Jake's eyes flicked to hers briefly. "Tell me about your family."

"My mom's side is Paiute and my dad is Mexican," Dawn told him. "So not only am I an unwanted Indian, I'm also an unwanted Mexican. Double whammy."

Jake nodded.

"What are you?" Dawn asked.

The waitress came to take their order so Jake waited until afterwards to answer.

"Half Shoshone and half Irish," Jake responded once the waitress moved off.

"Really," Dawn looked closely at him. "I don't see any Irish."

"My mom's side," Jake explained. "She's blond."

"Your mother is blond?" Dawn laughed.

Jake nodded. "None of us are blond."

"How many siblings?" Dawn asked. "I saw the one. What was his name?"

"Kit," Jake answered.

The waitress came back with their drinks.

"I have six brothers," Jake informed her.

"Wow," Dawn looked impressed. "I have a brother Joe and that's it."

"Less time waiting for the bathroom," Jake pointed out.

Dawn smiled at him and Jake colored and looked away.

"Yeah, it wasn't bad," Dawn told him.

Dawn carried most of the conversation, not saying anything when Jake gave one or two word answers, if he said anything at all.

The food was good and Jake had to admit he was enjoying Dawn's company. She told some funny stories about her family and growing up. Jake found himself smiling more than he had in a very long time.

He found Dawn looking at him sometimes and she blushed when he had caught her. Dawn liked Jake and thought he was very handsome.

She detected some sadness in his eyes and she wanted to wipe it away and let him know everything was going to be all right. She surprised herself by her thoughts. She barely knew him and here she was thinking of cheering him up.

She too was enjoying herself and hoped he'd want to see her again.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Jake called Dawn again a few days later and offered to take her to dinner and a movie. Dawn accepted and the two of them began dating.

Jake was starting to feel free of the burden of the woman he had used to love. Dawn was pretty, outgoing and very funny. They talked, or rather Dawn talked and Jake either listened or responded to her questions with one or two word answers. She seemed to accept that he wasn't the most talkative guy.

He was cautious with his heart, having just had his heart ripped out by someone he had thought the world of. No, he wasn't thinking of _her_ anymore. She was his past.

Jake wasn't sure if Dawn was his future, but he knew the other one was best left in the past.

His family had seen the small change in him and Mom asked Jake to bring Dawn to dinner. To Jake that was a huge step. Was he ready for that? Was Dawn?

Jake decided to ask her. She had accepted and Jake drove out to her place to pick her up in his truck.

He could tell that Dawn was nervous about meeting his family.

"They'll like you," Jake murmured, surprising both of them.

"Will they?" Dawn wondered. What she wanted to ask was whether Jake liked her. So far they had been on a few dates, mostly movies or dinner, yet he hadn't tried to kiss her.

Jake nodded.

"How many will be there?"

"Nate and his wife, Vanessa," Jake told her. "Most of us call her Vanis." He shrugged.

"Then Quinn and his wife Debi," Jake went on. "Oh and probably the kids. Nate has a son named Hunter. Quinn has twin daughters, Monique and Natalie.

"Bryan should be there and Cara, his fiancée will prolly be there too," Jake said. "Grandfather is visiting so he'll be there along with my mom and dad."

"So kinda small, huh?" Dawn teased.

"Compared to what it could be, yes," Jake nodded.

"Do you miss not having sisters?" Dawn asked.

_Do not think of her_, Jake chastised himself. _She was not your sister. No sister would hurt you like that._

"I don't know if I miss having one or not since I never had one," Jake shrugged.

"Sometimes I wish I had a sister to talk to and do things with," Dawn mused.

"That's why having so many brothers growing up was nice," Jake said. "Until they left me all the bad chores or beat me up."

"They used to beat you up?" Dawn yelped.

"Yeah," Jake chuckled. "I was the youngest. I think it's expected."

Dawn laughed and a short time later Jake pulled into Three Ponies.

"Wow, you live here?" Dawn's voice held awe.

"Nah, the neighbor lives here," Jake teased. "I thought you'd just like to see where I wished I lived."

Dawn looked at him, laughing softly. It was the first time he had really teased her. She was pleased he was getting so comfortable with her that he could joke and tease with her.

He parked in front of the barn with the rest of the vehicles and the two of them got out.

"He looks happy," Mom remarked from the window to her father-in-law.

"There is a little break in the darkness," Mac murmured.

"Will he find happiness again?" Mom wondered.

"Yes Maxine, he will," Mac informed her. "He is finding it now. I am not sure he will ever love this one like he loved the other. It was all consuming and he learned just how painful that type of love can be."

"Only when it's betrayed," Mom bit out. "I cannot believe that Samantha could hurt him like that."

Mac shrugged. "She suffers for it."

Mom wanted to say "good", but she took a deep breath and let it out on a sigh instead.

"Neither of them are unscathed," Mac told her.

"I just want him to be happy again," Mom murmured.

"He will be," Mac assured her. "It's starting now."

Mom simply nodded as she watched her son and this new woman approach the house.

"Who lives in those other houses?" Dawn pointed.

Jake was loath to look over at the house he would have lived in with _her_.

"That's Nate's and Vanessa's," Jake pointed. "That is Quinn's and Debi's."

"The other?" Dawn asked. She looked up at him then and thought she saw a shadow pass his face.

"Bryan's and Cara's," his voice sounded deadened.

"Are you all right?" Dawn asked.

Jake nodded without speaking and quickly looked away from the house.

"Oh that Paint is gorgeous," Dawn was looking at the horse pasture.

"Which Paint?" Jake asked. "We have three of them now."

"The black and white," Dawn pointed towards Rocky.

"That's Bryan's," the two of them walked towards the pasture so she could get a better view of the horses. Jake was happy to get away from _that_ house.

Witch looked at the woman with her master with suspicion, snorting in her direction.

"He's haughty," Dawn pointed at the black Quarter Horse.

"She," Jake corrected. "And yes she is. She's mine."

"She's beautiful, but you can see the attitude," Dawn laughed softly.

Jake nodded.

"I like the sorrel Paint too," Dawn pointed towards Toby.

"Yes, he's a good horse," Jake murmured, hiding the pain. "You can ride him sometime if you want."

"Really?" Dawn smiled. "I'd love to."

They started walking towards the house and Jake braced himself. He had never brought anyone to the house before. He never had to. _Stop_, he chastised himself.

The other one was gone now. This was a start of a new life for him.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Dawn stopped on the porch, seeing the swing there.

"Do you swing on that?" she asked.

"Not so much anymore," Jake told her. She thought she saw pain flash through his eyes, before opening the door for her.

Dawn drew a deep breath and let it out.

"They'll like you," Jake murmured, catching her eye. He didn't tell her that he knew his family was thrilled at just the possibility of Jake bringing someone home. He knew they worried about him after the breakup.

Jake sighed, banishing the image of _her_ from his brain.

Dawn saw the pain for an instant, but didn't say anything, going through the door ahead of him.

"You must be Dawn," Mom greeted this new woman. She glanced at Jake and saw the apprehension on his face. Mom knew he was feeling the presence of the other and what this all meant to bring someone else to his home.

"Yes, it's nice to meet you, Mrs. Ely," Dawn allowed herself to be hugged.

"Please, Maxine," Mom told her.

"Maxine," Dawn smiled at Jake's mom.

"Everyone else is in the family room," Mom said to Jake.

Jake nodded.

"Hunter's cutting teeth so he's a bit fussy tonight," Mom warned them.

Jake indicated the way to Dawn and put his hand on her waist to guide her into the other room. He knew this would be a test of sorts. He hoped his family wouldn't compare her to the other one though he knew it would be difficult not to since they had known her for so long.

Even he had to admit it felt strange to have someone besides _her_ in his house. It almost felt like a dream and that he'd wake up and find out it hadn't happened.

Dawn heard the deep sigh behind her and turned to see the pain in his face before he blanked out his expression. She stopped when everyone turned to look at her.

Quinn felt like crying, seeing Jake with someone besides Sam. Debi had to bite her lip and she turned away so Dawn and Jake wouldn't see her tears. Quinn put his arm around his wife, his eyes meeting first his twin's, then Nate's before meeting Jake's.

Jake knew what they were all thinking. He couldn't help wondering too. _What was she doing right now? Why had she done this to him? _

"Everyone, this is Dawn," Jake cleared his throat and announced.

"Hi Dawn," everyone tried to sound happy to meet her. They were happy that Jake had found someone and they all hoped that he would be happy with this one. Happy enough to erase the hurt and betrayal from the _other_. They all tried to remember that was the most important thing. Not who Jake was with, but that he was happy.

Jake pointed everyone out to Dawn and they all smiled at her. Even Debi managed a smile when Jake introduced her. She had loved Sam and was probably the closest of the wives and girlfriends to her.

Jake and Dawn found seats and Jake felt the eyes of his grandfather. He met the eyes so like his own. Jake's eyes were blanked out as they met Mac's. Mac's dark eyes seemed to penetrate the wall and peered into the darkness. Jake saw Mac make an almost imperceptible nod. Jake hoped that meant that Mac approved of Dawn.

His family seemed to thaw after that and welcomed Dawn into their midst. Vanis beamed when Dawn said nice things about Hunter. Dawn seemed to love the twin girls of Quinn and Debi.

After dinner, Jake showed Dawn some of the house. They ended up in the sunporch. Dawn loved it, a huge smile on her face.

"This is wonderful," Dawn told him. "Do you watch the sunset out here?"

"No," Jake shook his head. "I'm usually busy until long after sunset."

"It's so open and airy," Dawn started looking around. She saw a few pictures on the wall and looked closer at them.

She was surprised to see Jake in one with a woman riding piggy back. Her reddish hair streamed out around them, her arms were around his shoulders and she was laughing. Jake was looking back at her, a delightful smile on his face as he did. Dawn could tell just by looking at the two of them that they were very much in love.

Dawn turned now to look at Jake and he saw the questioning look on her face. Jake looked confused, then glanced at the wall in front of Dawn and froze. Oh gosh, he felt the betrayal in his soul all over again at seeing that picture and how happy they had been. He thought all of her pictures had been put away. Obviously they had missed one.

With a growling sound, Jake almost ripped the picture off the wall. His first instinct was to throw it up against the opposite wall, but he couldn't. Instead he put it face down on one of the tables nearby.

"Is she the one who hurt you so badly?" Dawn asked concern on her face.

Jake had thought he had done so well hiding his pain from her, but he nodded.

"Will you tell me about her sometime?" Dawn asked.

Taking a deep breath, Jake nodded again. He supposed he owed her that.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Jake pulled off the main road on his way of taking Dawn home that evening. He had been pleased that everyone seemed to like her and she had gotten along with the whole family. Also, she hadn't freaked at seeing a picture of him with _her_. Even now it was hard for him to think her name.

"Where are we going?" Dawn asked him.

"Somewhere that we can talk," Jake said softly.

Dawn nodded.

They didn't talk as Jake drove. He suddenly remembered, he had brought _her_ here once, but then he figured this would be the perfect place to tell Dawn about _her_ and hopefully exorcise the last of _her_ demons from his soul.

Jake parked his truck and turned it off. He looked out the windshield into the dark and thought about what he wanted to say. Dawn waited him out, not saying anything. Something told her not to push him.

She heard him sigh and glanced over, seeing his hand grip the steering wheel as if he wished he could break it in half. Still she didn't say anything, waiting him out.

"She was my best friend growing up," Jake's voice in the darkness startled her when he finally started to talk.

Though Jake wasn't much of a talker, he told her just about everything. He kept their sex life private.

"She almost killed me when she cheated on me," Jake finished up.

"I can understand why," Dawn murmured, happy that he had told her everything. It explained so much about him.

Dawn looked out the passenger window, wondering if she dared to ask him something.

"Am I just a rebound?" she had to ask.

Jake sighed. How did he answer that? Surely Dawn had to know if _she_ hadn't cheated on him, he would still be with her.

"I don't think so," Jake answered honestly.

Dawn's smile was self-mocking. At least he was honest. She didn't particularly like his answer, but she appreciated the truth.

"What if she comes back?" Dawn wondered.

"She won't," Jake responded.

"You don't know that," Dawn told him. "She might come back when enough time has gone by, wanting to get back with you."

Jake shrugged. "It won't change what she did."

"Have you seen her…," Dawn asked.

"No," Jake's voice was harsh. He turned towards Dawn. "I don't want to see her. She's out of my life."

Dawn looked over at him, feeling badly for him. It had to have hurt him terribly. She knew it would her.

"I'm sorry, Jake," Dawn's voice was soft in the cab of the truck.

With an almost whimpering sound, Jake leaned over, his hand burying into her black hair as his lips met hers. Dawn was surprised, yet thrilled as his full mouth moved over hers, tentatively at first, almost as if she would reject him. Then when she didn't, he gained confidence.

Dawn loved the way he kissed. She couldn't get enough of him and leaned into his hard chest. She felt the heat of her body as it responded to his kiss.

One of Jake's hands stroked her back and Dawn arched closer still, their lips still attached, kissing, tasting.

Finally, they broke apart. Their lips met softly, briefly again and again.

"My goodness you know how to kiss," Dawn had to tell him.

Jake was pleased, but he colored hoping she couldn't see it in the darkened truck.

"Would you go with me to Bryan's wedding?" Jake asked.

"Are you sure?" Dawn was flabbergasted at his request, but very, very pleased.

"Yes, I'm sure," Jake told her.

"I'd love to," Dawn said.

"There's something I need to tell you about it though," Jake warned her.

"Will she be there?" Dawn wondered.

"No," Jake shook his head, leaning in to press his lips to hers again. "Her family will be, but she wasn't invited.

"We normally stay at the nearest hotel that night."

"Oh," Dawn was surprised.

"I'll make sure you have your own room," Jake assured her.

"Okay," Dawn murmured.

Was that disappointment Jake heard in her voice?


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

"Hey Jakey," Bryan was just coming in the next morning when Jake was in the kitchen.

"Hey Bry," Jake took a sip of coffee.

"I saw Quinn and Nate on their way over," Bryan yawned, getting a cup for himself. "I liked Dawn."

Jake flicked his eyes to those of the oldest twin.

"Gotta be honest though," Bryan sighed, shaking his head. "It felt strange."

"Yeah," Jake agreed, his voice low. "For me too."

"I bet," Bryan responded. "Cara liked her too."

For a moment Jake wondered if Bryan meant _her_.

"Dawn," Bryan clarified and both men sighed in relief.

Jake didn't want to talk about the other. He had kissed Dawn last night and liked it.

"Hey Jakey, Hey Bry," Quinn came into the kitchen.

"Hey," Nate was right behind the younger twin.

"Did you sleep with Dawn last night?" Quinn asked.

"No," Jake gave him a look.

"I would have," Quinn grinned. "If I wasn't a happily married man, of course."

The other guys rolled their eyes.

"You'd sleep with anything with a heartbeat," Nate grumbled, helping himself to the coffee and then taking the cup to the kitchen table.

"I basically did," Quinn laughed, reaching in over the table for one of the platters. He looked down and saw the platter was in the exact spot that the outline of Sam's butt had been that time.

His eyes met those of Nate and Bryan. Quinn knew the two of them were remembering also. Quinn's dark brown eyes slid to Jake's and he could see the pain as Jake looked down at the table, remembering.

All four of them met the others' eyes. Nobody knew what to say or if anything _should_ be said.

"Dawn seemed nice," Nate blurted out.

"Yeah," Quinn agreed. "She looks like she could be our sister."

Bryan's fork dropped and clattered on his plate. All three brothers were looking at Quinn. Jake's expression was blanked out.

"Sorry," Quinn muttered. "I meant the way she looked. Dark like us."

Jake drained his cup and walked over to put it in the dishwasher. His brothers all looked at each other behind his back and Quinn shrugged.

"I'll meet you guys out there," Jake said. He went to the porch area, putting on his hat before going out the front door.

"Way to go moron," Bryan grumbled at his twin.

"I just meant she looked like us," Quinn tried to explain again.

"He found a picture of Sam in the sunroom last night," Nate told him. "When he was out there with Dawn."

"Oh man," Bryan groaned for his youngest brother.

"I'd still like to ask her why," Quinn looked at the front door to make sure Jake was indeed gone before looking at his brothers.

"So would I," Nate nodded in agreement.

"It doesn't sound like Sammy at all," Bryan said.

"The two of them really loved each other," Quinn agreed. "I can't believe she'd cheat on Jake. Neither of them ever looked at anyone else. God knows I tried getting Sammy's attention."

Both of his brothers gave him a disgusted look.

"My point is, she never looked at another guy," Quinn explained as if his brothers were kindergartners. "Why would she suddenly cheat on Jakey?"

"Maybe she had done without it for so long she couldn't wait anymore," Bryan shrugged. "They had been apart for awhile."

"They had been apart for most of three years," Nate shook his head. "Why then? It doesn't make sense."

"They hadn't argued," Quinn put in. "Not according to what Jakey said, anyway."

"They've fought like cats and dogs in the past and neither cheated," Nate reminded him.

"It just doesn't sound like Sammy," Bryan mused, looking out the kitchen window and seeing Jake saddling his mare.

"She did it though," Nate sighed. "She told Jake she had."

"I bet she got drunk," Quinn remembered the time she had kissed him passionately after drinking his drinks by mistake. He had never told Jake and he certainly wouldn't now.

"That had to be it," Bryan shook his head in sadness. "It's not going to be the same without her at my wedding."

"It's not going to be the same without her, period," Nate murmured. "It just seems like _something_ is missing."

The twins nodded, agreeing with him before they all headed outside.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Mom was in her element the few days before Bryan's wedding. Kit and Cricket had flown in from Hawaii with their new son Lucas. Kit teased his mom since she was rarely without her newest grandson in her arms.

"Should I just come back for him one he's potty trained?" Kit asked with a laugh.

"Sure," Mom teased him back. "Though you might have to clear that with Cricket. I might not give him back. I miss not having a baby in the house."

"You still have a baby in the house, Mom," Quinn piped in as he held one of his daughters. "Jakey was just potty trained himself last month."

"Har har," Jake rolled his eyes. He was sitting on the couch with Hunter bouncing on his knee. His nephew was screaming in laughter as he bounced. The family loved seeing him interacting like this.

Mom noticed that Jake was smiling a bit more than he had in so long. Sometimes she'd see the sadness in his eyes if he didn't realize anyone was watching, but it came less often than before.

"Looks like Hunter's ready for his first pony," Kit remarked.

"Not quite yet," Vanis shook her head.

"We were riding with Dad at his age," Nate told his wife.

"Not quite yet," Vanis said again, giving Nate a look.

He grinned at her and she stuck her tongue out at him, surprising the rest of the family. Vanessa put her hand over her mouth immediately, her eyes wide as she looked over at Jake. The rest of the Elys also glanced at Jake.

Jake didn't seem to have noticed. He was talking to Hunter, continuing to bounce him on his knee.

Vanis looked at Nate who shrugged.

"We need to play football," Kit announced, standing up.

"Heck yeah," Quinn stood up, looking for someone to take Monique from him.

"Absolutely not," Mom told them all. "Last time you all ended up bruised for the wedding."

"Oh Mom," Bryan came over to hug her. "We'll be careful."

"No you won't," Mom shook her head. "I know you boys."

Her sons ignored her as they all stood up, depositing the younger ones with their mothers.

Vanis took Hunter from Jake. Hunter screamed, holding out his arms to his Uncle Jake. Jake smiled at his nephew and then at Vanessa.

"Jake, I…," Vanis began to apologize for sticking out her tongue like Sam used to.

"It's okay," Jake assured her.

She looked up into his dark face.

"Really," he said and Vanis nodded. She couldn't help shifting Hunter into one arm and hugging Jake with the other. Jake colored and the rest of them saw how uncomfortable he was.

"Hey Nate, Vanis is leaving you for Jakey," Adam joked.

"He can have the two o'clock feedings," Nate teased.

"Excuse me?" Vanis let go of Jake. "How exactly do you feed him at two o'clock?"

"Uh, ah…" Nate stammered.

"Good come back, Nate," Quinn laughed. "Way to de-man yourself in front of the rest of us."

Nate gave him a shove and chased Quinn out of the house.

"I swear they'll never grow up," Mom rolled her eyes and the rest of them laughed.

"Come on boys," Bryan announced. "We need to kick some football butt."

"Bryan!' Mom reprimanded her son. Bryan just grinned at his mother, giving her a kiss on the cheek before heading outside.

Kit was tossing the football that he had gotten from out of the barn.

"Gosh, it's been a year since we played last," Kit reminded them, opening the pasture gate and going in."

"Now you're a dad and Adam will be soon," Quinn said, shaking his head. "So much has changed in the past few years."

Just like that, they all remembered _her_. How last year she had joked with them as they had played football at Adam's. How this year she was no where to be found because of what she had done to Jake.

His brothers glanced at him. Jake wasn't look at any of them. Kit saw the heartache in his eyes as Jake remembered what Sam had been like then. Then suddenly it was gone.

"Let's play some football," Jake said and his brothers were relieved.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

"You look nice," Jake told Dawn when he picked her up later that day. Afterwards, he rubbed the back of his neck, surprised at himself for saying it.

"Thank you," Dawn leaned in to kiss him. "You look very handsome in your tuxedo."

Jake colored, motioning towards his truck. Dawn preceded him and was surprised when Jake's hand slipped into hers as they walked together. She looked up at him and he smiled softly down at her.

Dawn almost tripped and fell. She had waited for someone, anyone, to look at her the way Jake was looking at her now. She knew she was falling in love with him and she hoped he was feeling the same way. That soft smile gave her that hope.

She wondered what he would be like as a lover. Dawn blushed and Jake saw the blush. He bent his head to hers, kissing her mouth before Dawn got into the truck. Jake took her bag and put it in the backseat with his.

As he drove back towards Darton, where the wedding would take place, Jake realized that he really cared for Dawn. He thought he might even love her. It wasn't the all consuming love as it had been with _her_. Maybe that was better.

He looked over at her to see her watching him. They smiled at each other, seeing the happiness and calmness in the eyes of the other.

They arrived at the church and once again Jake took her hand as they walked. Dawn smiled up into his handsome face and was rewarded again with a soft smile. He opened the church door for her and she casually bumped his arm as she passed.

Jake felt the response in his groin. He knew it hadn't been an accident. She glanced over her shoulder at him and gave him a womanly smile before tucking her hand in his again.

"I'm sure the others are already here," Jake told her.

"Where are the kids tonight?" Dawn asked.

"Babysitter," Jake grinned. "All of my sisters-in-law are looking forward to being babyless tonight."

"Except for Adam's wife," Dawn laughed. "She can't be babyless quite yet."

"Soon," Jake smiled. "She's due in a couple of weeks."

"Won't it feel strange not to be heading back to school?" Dawn sighed.

"Yeah, but I'm looking forward to just workin' on the ranch," Jake told her. He opened the door to the church sanctuary and they saw the other wives sitting in the second row.

Vanis, Debi, Sherri and Cricket turned around. Jake saw the surprise on their faces knowing they were shocked to see him there with someone else besides _her_, even though they all knew she had betrayed him. They were so used to seeing him with _her_.

"We need to smile," Debi murmured to the others. "Sam's gone."

"I still can't believe it," Vanis said under her breath.

"Me either," Cricket whispered.

"He seems to like her though," Sherri pointed out, trying to smile.

"That's all that matters," Debi smiled at Dawn to welcome her.

"Hi Jake, Hi Dawn," Debi greeted them. "Dawn, you sit with us."

The wives all moved down for Dawn and she sat on the aisle.

"I'll see you later," Jake told her softly before heading to the room where his brothers were waiting.

The wives noticed Dawn watching Jake walk away from them.

"Oh you have it bad,' Sherri laughed.

Dawn blushed but laughed at being caught.

"Jake's a very handsome man," Vanis said. "All the Ely boys are handsome."

"Yes they are," Dawn agreed.

Some of the guests started to arrive. Dawn didn't know any of them.

"Oh," Debi gasped as she turned around, seeing a blond couple come into the church.

The rest of them turned and Vanis, Sherri and Cricket also gasped. Dawn wondered who they were.

Jen walked down the aisle hand and hand with Eric. She saw the Ely wives in the second row and her eyes automatically went to the new woman sitting with them. Jen did very well in math and she knew that fifth woman had to be Jake's.

"Who is that?" Dawn asked Debi, knowing it wasn't the woman who had hurt Jake so badly.

"The guy is Maxine's nephew," Debi told her.

"Really?" Dawn was surprised. "A blond?"

"Maxine's side of the family is blond," Debi went on.

"Who is she?" Dawn had to ask.

"Jen Kenworthy," Debi glanced at Dawn. "She's best friends with, uh…"

"Oh," Dawn frowned.

Jen saw the frown. She and Eric slid into a pew a few rows back.

"She dated Bryan for awhile too," Vanis said. "Well they tried but the two of them decided they were just friends."

"Sam dated Bryan?" Cricket was surprised.

"No, Jen," Vanessa corrected.

"Her name was Sam?" Dawn asked. "Jake told me what had happened, but he never mentioned her name to me. I saw a picture of the two of them."

The wives were quiet, each remembering the woman they felt for sure Jake would marry. Now, none of them knew where she was, how she was and why she had cheated on the man she claimed to love so much.

Debi turned around, meeting the blue eyes of Jen. She wondered if Jen knew the circumstances. Debi just hoped Sam was okay. It had to be devastating for her also, or at least Debi would think it would be. Of course, it had been Sam who had done the cheating. Maybe she wasn't upset or devastated because of it.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Jake saw Jen sitting with his cousin Eric immediately upon coming out of the pastor's room to stand in the front of the church. The two of them glared at each other until Nate elbowed him.

Jake had to admit to himself, that seeing Jen brought back a lot of the pain of what had happened. He glanced at Dawn and saw her watching him, apprehension on her face. Jake gave her a small reassuring smile, which Jen caught.

Jen stared bullets at the back of the black haired woman who Jake was now obviously with. Dawn felt it and turned once in her seat to meet Jen's eyes. Debi glanced back at Jen before Dawn and Debi turned towards the front again.

"A bit uncomfortable, huh?" Eric murmured to her as the first bridesmaid came down the aisle.

"Yeah," Jen nodded. "I know they're mad at Sam for what happened, but they don't know how torn up she is about it either."

"You're going to defend your friend," Eric said.

"I'm worried about her Eric," Jen told him. "You didn't see her. She's a bag of bones and she just doesn't care about herself or anything else."

"Guilt," Eric stated, as they stood up. Cara was at the back of the church about to come down the aisle.

"Her guilt is eating her alive," Jen sighed. "She doesn't remember any of it, just waking up next to that creep."

Eric shook his head. Craig might be a fraternity brother, but Eric didn't particularly like him. There was something about him that turned him off.

"Will you tell Jake where she is?" Eric asked.

"No," Jen shook her head. "He's obviously moved on. I'm hoping Sam can do the same some day."

"Will you tell Sam about Jake's girlfriend?" Eric wondered, sitting back down once Cara reached the front of the church and Bryan.

"I don't know," Jen sighed again. "It might help her move on, but it might hurt her even more."

Eric nodded and put his arm around Jen as they watched Bryan take Cara for his wife. Jen knew Sam had been upset that she wouldn't be there, but she also knew why she hadn't been invited. Sam had loved Bryan as she loved all of Jake's brothers and not being part of their family was eating Sam up along with the guilt of what happened.

Jake felt Jen's eyes on him during the ceremony. He supposed Jen would run back to _her_ and tell her everything that had happened.

He smiled when Bryan and Cara kissed after the ceremony. Then he frowned. He was the only Ely son not married. He was the only Ely son not engaged. He moved up to walk with one of Cara's sisters that was his partner and followed the rest of the bridal party down the aisle.

Jake and Jen glared at each other as Jake passed. Jake flicked his eyes briefly to Eric's and saw the amusement in his blue eyes. Jake glared at him too for good measure.

He stood with the rest of the bridal party in the reception line. Jake hoped Jen would walk right on by. He didn't want to see her. He didn't want her there. He didn't want to think about _her_, which he was bound to do with Jen there.

Jake wanted to think about Dawn and that's what he started to do. Dawn was a beautiful woman. Her blue-black hair was long and silky. Her skin was dark like his. They looked like they belonged together.

She had been giving him hints later that she was ready to take their relationship to the next level. Her teasing him earlier was evidence of that.

Was he ready to make love to someone besides _her_?

Jake had been without a woman for almost a year now. His body craved intimacy.

He couldn't help the smile when Dawn came down the line with the Ely wives. She was beautiful. Her eyes were like dark pools in her dark face. When she looked at him now, he responded.

Dawn saw the heat in Jake's eyes as their dark brown eyes met. She felt warm and flushed. Jake saw the invitation in her eyes and Dawn saw the acceptance.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Jake's eyes were torn away from Dawn by Jen coming down the reception line with his cousin.

"Hey Cuz," Bryan greeted him.

"Congratulations," Eric told him.

"Thanks," Bryan's eyes moved to Jen. "Hey Jen."

"Congratulations Bryan," Jen murmured.

"Thanks Jen," the two exchanged soft smiles.

"Congratulations Cara," Jen hugged the woman Bryan had married.

"Thank you Jen," Cara smiled at the woman who had dated Bryan briefly. "I'm glad you could come."

Jen nodded and hugged Quinn who was Bryan's best man.

"Hey Jen," Quinn gave her a hug that lifted her off of her feet.

"Quinn," Jen grunted as it felt like he was breaking her ribs.

The two of them looked at each other, sadness in their eyes for the one who wasn't there.

"Save me a dance," Quinn told her.

Jen nodded and moved down the line. Eric greeted his cousins as he followed Jen.

Jen barely acknowledged Jake. He was on the end of the line, but she moved right by him.

Jake's eyes narrowed, his nostrils flared at the slight. Why was Jen upset with him? Because he ended a relationship where _he_ was betrayed? What was he supposed to do, lie down and let _her_ walk all over him and cheat on him again?

"Hi Jen," Debi greeted her.

"Hi Debi," Jen smiled at Quinn's wife. "How are the babies?"

"Growing," Debi laughed.

Jen said hello to the other women. "You all remember Eric, Maxine's nephew?"

"Hi Eric," Vanis greeted him.

Eric greeted his cousins' wives. Jen then turned to Dawn. Jake was watching from where he stood. So help him if she said anything to Dawn that hurt her, there would be heck to pay.

"Hi, I'm Jen, a neighbor," Jen smiled.

"Oh I'm sorry Jen," Vanessa shook her head. "This is Jake's girlfriend, Dawn."

The wives gave Jen credit for not flinching.

"Nice to meet you, Dawn," Jen said instead.

"Thank you," Dawn responded.

"Maybe we'll be cousins someday then too, huh?" Eric smiled at Dawn, surprising Jen.

_Surely, Dawn and Jake weren't that far along in their relationship were they?_

Jen looked back at Jake who was still glowering in her direction. Yes, maybe they were after all.

The thought of it made Jen almost sick to her stomach and knew it would kill Sam if she found out.

Later at the reception, Jen watched the wedding party as they danced. Jake looked so out of place dancing with Cara's sister, that Jen couldn't help the smirk. Maybe he'd trip and fall on his smug face.

"Down girl," Eric's amused voice was close to her ear.

"I know he's your cousin and all, but I've never liked him much," Jen shrugged. "I tolerated him for Sam's sake."

"I'd say by the looks he's giving you, the feeling is mutual," Eric tried not to laugh.

Jen giggled as she nodded, knowing it was true.

Once the wedding party danced, Eric took Jen out on the dance floor. They smiled up at each other as they danced to a slow song.

"Sorry Cuz," Bryan cut in on Eric.

"No problem, Cuz," Eric stepped away and let Bryan dance with Jen.

"How are you, Jen?" Bryan asked.

"I'm all right," Jen answered.

"How is she?" Bryan surprised Jen by asking.

"Miserable," Jen didn't have to ask who he was asking about. "I think she's dying inside, Bryan."

"She cheated on my brother," Bryan reminded her.

"And it's killing her," Jen's tone was harsh.

"Where is she?" Bryan wondered.

"I'm not sure I should tell you," Jen looked up at him. "I don't want to cause anyone any more grief."

Bryan nodded.

"Jake moved on, huh?" Jen's voice was sarcastic.

"He was the one cheated on, remember," Bryan defended his brother.

Jen nodded and sighed. "I'm sorry. That was out of line."

"I just can't believe it happened," Bryan twirled Jen in his arms.

"Me either," Jen responded. "You didn't see her Bryan. She can't remember what happened. I thought I was going to have to call River Bend and have her committed."

"Was she drunk?" Bryan asked.

"I don't know," Jen murmured. "She says she didn't drink any alcohol." She shrugged. "Regardless, it happened and she's not the same person. She never smiles. She's still in love with him. She won't date, she won't go out. She just works and goes back to her apartment and suffers. She's dying a little bit at a time and I'm worried."

"That's bad," Bryan said. "At least Jake was able to find someone again."

"Good for Jake," Jen sneered and Bryan laughed.

Jen couldn't help the giggle.

The song ended and Bryan kissed then hugged Jen.

"I don't wish her any ill, Jen," Bryan told her. "She was like my little sister for most of her life. I just wish I knew why she did what she did."

"So do I, Bryan," Jen responded. "So do I."


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Jake had stood with Dawn watching Bryan dance with Jen.

"Are you okay?" Dawn asked, tucking her hand into his. Jake gave it a squeeze.

"Yeah," Jake nodded, looking down at her.

"Does she bring back bad memories?" Dawn wondered.

Jake snorted. "Yeah and not just because of _her_. Jen and I have never gotten along."

"Her name was Sam?" Dawn inquired, looking up him.

"How did you find that out?" Jake wondered.

"Cricket mentioned her name," Dawn told him.

"Yeah, that was her name," Jake sighed, meeting her eyes. "She's in my past, Dawn. You don't have to worry about her."

"Are you sure?" Dawn almost whispered.

"Yes, I'm sure," Jake assured her.

"Good," Dawn's eyes flicked to his full mouth.

Jake almost groaned, filled with his need.

Dawn saw it in his eyes, but didn't say anything. She was feeling like she was almost buzzing with wanting him. She knew he was shy and she was wondering how she could let him know, without just coming out and telling him so, that she was ready to make love to him.

Jake thought he saw the invitation in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not much of a dancer," Jake apologized to her.

"That's okay," Dawn shrugged. "You looked miserable dancing with Cara's sister."

"That obvious, huh?" Jake chuckled.

"To me it was," Dawn laughed softly.

"Most everyone else has seen me at all the weddings and know how I feel about dancing," Jake grinned.

"Yet they still keep asking you to stand up in their weddings," Dawn teased.

"My brothers like to torture me," Jake joked.

"All siblings like to torture each other," Dawn said.

"That's true," Jake nodded. He saw Bryan hug Jen at the end of the dance. He had seen the two of them talking and couldn't help but wonder if it were about _her_. Jake wasn't about to ask.

Any feelings he had for _her_ were gone. The only woman he cared about was the one who had her hand tucked so trustingly in his.

Dawn saw him glance at Bryan and Jen, then down at her.

"I don't care about her anymore," Jake assured her.

Dawn nodded slowly. She leaned in, pressing her mouth briefly against his.

"Get a room," Jen sneered as she walked by.

Jake almost snarled out a response, but stopped when he felt Dawn's hand on his arm.

He met her eyes and nodded, taking a deep breath and letting it out.

A bit later, people were leaving the wedding reception. Mac came to stand by Jake and Dawn before leaving for home.

"You're not staying at the hotel, Grandfather?" Jake asked.

"At my age, I prefer my own bed," Mac responded. "It's not too far of a drive."

Mac looked down at Dawn. "It was good to see you again, Dawn."

"Thank you sir," Dawn smiled at Jake's grandfather.

Mac's eyes flicked to Jake's and he nodded slightly at his grandson.

"I will see you again soon," Mac told her. "Have Jake bring you to the reservation for our last powwow of the season. My grandsons are dancing and drumming."

"You drum?" Dawn asked Jake.

"You didn't ask if he was dancing," Mac's eyes twinkled as he grinned.

"I knew better," Dawn laughed as Jake chuckled.

"No, I don't drum," Jake shook his head. "Basically I just go and watch."

"My brother drums," Dawn told Mac.

"It's good for young men to remember their roots," Mac's eyebrow rose at Jake.

"I'm only half Shoshone," Jake reminded the elder man.

"Dawn is only half Ute, but her brother drums," Mac retorted.

"I can't win," Jake shook his head.

_You are winning_, Mac thought. He could see the difference in Jake. He looked alive again. Mac knew from talking confidentially with Jen that Samantha wasn't faring as well.

Mac hadn't told Jake, but he had dreamt of Sam. He had felt her pain, felt her sorrow. He was worried about her, just as Jen was. Samantha's future was bleak from what Mac had seen. He hoped she made it through all that was coming for her.

His dreams of Jake had been lighter and Mac knew that Jake was finding love again with Dawn. _There will be a new dawn_, Mac had told him, when Jake was at his lowest. Mac could see where Jake could end up marrying this young woman at his side.

"You two have a good night," Mac hugged them both and left.

"I like your grandfather," Dawn told Jake.

"He likes you too," Jake responded.

"Do you like me?" Dawn asked coyly.

"Yeah, I do," Jake met her eyes. "If you're ready to leave, I'll drive you to the hotel and your room."

"I'm ready," Dawn told him.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Jake drove Dawn to the hotel, neither of them saying much on the drive. He carried her bag and his once they reached the hotel. They rode up the elevator without saying much to each other.

When the elevator dinged, Jake waited for Dawn to get off before following her.

"Down this way," Jake told her, leading the way towards her room. He slipped the key card into her lock and then handed the card to her.

Dawn's eyes slowly met his as her hand reached for the card.

"Are you staying?" she whispered.

Jake's eyes widened at the invitation.

In answer his mouth crushed down on hers. Dawn walked backwards into the room and Jake kicked the door shut behind him, taking her into his arms.

Their tongues met and tangled. Dawn's hands ran through Jake's thick black hair as his hands stroked down her body.

Dawn pulled her mouth from his and started untying the tie around his neck. She flung it across the room as Jake slipped out of the tuxedo coat. Dawn helped him unbutton his shirt, pulling the tails of the shirt out of his trousers.

Then she stepped back and unzipped the back of her dress, shrugging it off her shoulders.

Dawn smiled up at him, unbuttoning his trousers and unzipping them.

He picked her up, carrying her to the bed, laying her down on the edge. Jake leaned over her, capturing her mouth with his.

His mouth left hers to trail his tongue down Dawn's neck, nibbling and licking as he went.

"Oh Jake," Dawn sighed and for a moment Jake was startled. He had been lost in what he was doing and the change in voice had shocked him. _She was gone. He was with this woman now. The other had betrayed him and was gone from his life._

Banishing the other from his thoughts, he made Dawn his.

"I'm falling in love with you Jake," Dawn boldly told him afterwards.

Jake tightened his arms on the woman in his arms and kissed the top of her head. He wanted to fall in love with her too and he felt he was well on his way.

At that moment, he vowed never to think of the other one again.

Dawn and Jake met the rest of the family, minus Kit, Cricket, Bryan and Cara who were already on their way to Hawaii, for breakfast the next morning.

Everyone noticed Jake holding Dawn's hand immediately. Then they noticed the softness in his eyes. A softness they hadn't seen in almost a year.

Mom put her hand over her mouth to keep a sob inside. Dad gripped her hand in one of his, squeezing her fingers. Both parents were thrilled to see their youngest son happy again.

Nate, Adam and Quinn grinned at their little brother. The three of them recognized the signs. They were happy for him. They liked Dawn, from what they knew of her. They didn't know Dawn as well as they had known Sam, but they did like her.

"Good morning," Mom greeted the couple.

"Good morning," Dawn smiled at everyone.

Jake held out a chair for her and everyone else at the table grinned. Oh yeah, Jake was doing much better.

The guys grinned at each other. The wives smiled at Dawn. Mom wiped her eyes and Dad rolled his.

"What time did they get off?" Jake asked putting some food on his plate.

Quinn teased Jake by saying something under his breath.

Jake met his eyes and Quinn smirked. Jake's mouth twitched. He had to admit, he was happy. Happier than he had been in a long while.

Jake didn't have to tell anyone that. They could see it in his face and in his eyes.

"About six," Dad answered Jake's question.

"Do all of you go to Hawaii for your honeymoons?" Dawn asked, helping herself to some coffee.

"Yes," Debi nodded, smiling brightly at Dawn. She too was happy for Jake. She was happy for Dawn too.

Dawn felt warm and welcome at being with the Elys. She thanked her lucky stars that she had gotten a flat tire that day on the highway.

"Dawn, will you come and stay with us for a few days?" Mom asked.

Dawn glanced at Jake who gave her an encouraging look.

"I'd have to stop at home first since I don't have anything to wear," Dawn responded.

"Jakey won't mind," Quinn quipped.

"Quinn!" Maxine scolded him.

Everyone else laughed. Dawn blushed a bit.

"I'll drive you home and you can pack something and drive back if you want," Jake told her.

"Okay," Dawn was excited to spend more time with Jake at their ranch.

"Now that Jake's the only one left at home, we have lots of extra room," Mom went on.

Quinn opened his mouth.

"Don't even say it," Mom warned him. Everyone started to laugh again.

"What?" Quinn tried to act innocent.

"Oh don't even try," Mom rolled her eyes at the youngest of her twins.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

"You'll come then?" Jake asked Dawn when he dropped her off.

"Yes," Dawn nodded, leaning over to kiss him. "I'll pack some things and be there in a few hours. Thank you for last night."

"Don't thank me, I enjoyed it too," Jake grinned at her.

"I'm glad," Dawn kissed him again.

"We'll do it some more once you're settled in," Jake told her.

"What about your parents?" Dawn was surprised.

"They'll prolly be doing it themselves in their own rooms," Jake teased.

Dawn blushed but laughed. "They don't mind if you, uh…"

"They don't ask and I don't…" Jake broke off. The only other woman he had had in his home was _her_.

"I'm sorry," Jake murmured.

"I understand that you loved her and had been with her," Dawn told him, her hand touched his jaw.

"I don't want to think of her anymore," Jake told her.

Dawn nodded. To be honest, she didn't want Jake thinking of her either.

"Anyway, no they normally don't say anything," Jake rushed out.

"Nice parents," Dawn grinned.

Jake shrugged.

"What will I need?" Dawn asked.

"Something to ride in," Jake told her. "Jeans, boots, socks, coat, gloves, chaps if you have them."

"I don't," Dawn told him.

"We'll see if we can rig something up if you need them," Jake said.

"I'm excited," Dawn smiled.

"Me too," Jake grinned.

Dawn gave him another kiss. She opened the passenger door. "I'll see you soon."

Jake nodded, watching her as she ran from the truck and went into her house. He cared a lot about her. He maybe even loved her.

He was nervous about declaring himself, he noted as he pulled out and turned towards home. Jake had enjoyed making love to her. It had been very pleasurable.

Jake couldn't help the smile as he drove. He felt reborn. He was starting to feel whole again. He would live and he would live well. He had his family, he had someone who cared very much about him, he had his horses and he had the ranch.

To Jake, that was all he needed.

A little later he pulled his truck into the ranch yard and parked in front of the barn.

"Hey Jakey," Nate was coming out of the barn with his saddle. "So you and Dawn, huh?"

"Yeah," Jake couldn't help the smile.

"Do you love her?" Nate wondered.

"I don't know," Jake was honest. "I think so."

"She loves you," Nate told him. "Vanis is sure of it."

"That would be nice," Jake murmured, glancing at his brother.

"Always is," Nate laughed and Jake laughed with him. "Vanis is pregnant again."

"Yeah?" Jake's smile grew. "Congratulations. Mom know yet?"

"Nah, we thought we'd wait a few days," Nate chuckled. "Give her time to get over the euphoria of you being happy again."

Jake laughed.

"You are?" Nate asked.

"Yeah," Jake's laughter faded. "I am."

"I'm glad, Jake," Nate clapped a hand on his shoulder. The two brothers exchanged a look and Jake saw then just how worried Nate had been.

Jake nodded. He headed towards the house with his bag to change and then go out on the range.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Jake smiled for days when Dawn arrived. His family saw it and was thrilled to see it. Jake enjoyed her company more than he thought he would.

He debated on which horse to put her up on. She had ridden some, but wasn't all that experienced. He decided that the best horse for her would be Toby. The tobiano Paint hadn't been ridden as often as he should have been, so Jake saddled him and took him into the round pen to work him for a bit. Jake wanted to make sure he was safe enough for Dawn.

Dawn watched as he worked the Paint. She didn't know that much about horses, but she knew Jake was brilliant with them. She was greatly impressed by his skill.

"He's really good isn't he?" Dawn asked Quinn.

"I'm better," Quinn told her with a grin. Nate snorted.

Dawn blushed.

"Oh you meant with horses?" Quinn teased.

"Don't mind Quinn," Nate told her as she blushed deeper. "None of us do."

"Har har," Quinn grouched at his older brother.

"Open the gate," Jake told Quinn.

"What's the magic word?" Quinn teased.

Dawn was laughing at the byplay between the brothers.

"Open the gate or I'll kick your butt," Jake said.

"Nope, that's not it," Quinn shook his head.

Nate laughed at his brothers.

"Open the darn gate," Jake grumbled.

"I'll get the darn gate," Nate went and opened it for Jake and he rode Toby through.

"Here hold these," Jake handed the reins to Dawn when he dismounted.

Then he turned on his brother. Quinn was grinning as Jake jumped him.

"Oh my gosh," Dawn yelped, surprised at the two brothers.

"Oh this is nothin'," Nate assured her. "They'll roll around in the dirt for a few minutes, then they'll hug and we can finally ride out and get some work done before Dad comes home and really kicks our butts."

Jake and Quinn started laughing. Jake stood up and held out his hand to help Quinn up.

"Next time just open the darn gate," Jake told him.

"Maybe," Quinn grinned as Jake gave him a shove.

"Ready?" Nate asked, swinging up on his Appaloosa Bramble.

"Sure thing," Quinn mounted Chip.

"Can you mount or do you need a leg up?" Jake asked Dawn.

"I think I need a leg up," Dawn looked up at Toby's back.

"Lift your leg," Jake held out his hand. Dawn lifted her leg. Jake grabbed it and lifted her onto the horse. He checked the stirrup length for her and helped her get settled on the Paint.

Once he was sure she was settled, he swung up on Witch. His big black mare gave a half-hearted buck. His brothers whooped at him, expecting a rodeo. They were rather disappointed when Jake brought Witch under control quickly.

"Is she always like that?" Dawn asked.

"Usually," Nate nodded.

"Only one other person's been able to ride her besides Jakey," Quinn said, then clamped his mouth together, glancing at Jake.

Jake was frowning and Dawn knew it had to have been Sam. She looked down gathering her reins, missing the dirty look Jake shot at Quinn.

"Sorry," Quinn murmured and he was. He wanted his brother happy. As happy as he seemed now.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

The four of them rode out to check the fences. The guys kept an eye on Dawn, realizing that she wasn't that experienced.

"What kind of cattle do you raise?" Dawn asked Jake.

"Mostly Hereford now," Jake told her. "We did Brangus for awhile too."

"Are these all yours?" Dawn looked over the range full of cattle.

"Mostly," Jake had noticed a few River Bend ear tags mixed in with their herd.

"Wyatt's up ahead," Nate said, bringing Jake's attention from Dawn to Wyatt.

"Who's Wyatt?" Dawn wondered.

"Neighbor," Jake answered. "The ranch next to ours."

"The one up the road?" Dawn asked.

Jake nodded as Wyatt rode near with Cody. Wyatt was riding the Perlino mustang. Cody was riding Ace. Jake looked at the mustang, fighting the impulse to think of who used to ride him.

"Jake," Wyatt nodded at the younger man. "Quinn, Nate."

"Wyatt," they all greeted their neighbor.

"Cody and I were checking the herd," Wyatt told them. "I see some of ours has mingled in with yours."

"Just noticed that," Jake told him. He noticed Wyatt was looking at Dawn. "This is my friend Dawn."

"Nice to meet you Dawn," Wyatt touched the brim of his hat. "This is my son Cody."

"Ma'am," Cody touched his hat. Jake grinned at the young boy.

"Howdy Jake," Cody said to him.

"Cody," Jake nodded.

Quinn and Nate were also grinning. Cody was imitating his father almost perfectly. They couldn't wait until their own kids were old enough to ride with them.

"You can leave them for now if you want," Jake told Wyatt, putting a hand on Witch's neck as she shifted under him.

"Kind of you Jake," Wyatt responded. "We'll be sending them to market soon."

"Us too," Jake said. "If we send them off and yours are still mixed in, I'll make sure you get the proceeds."

Wyatt nodded.

Dawn was amazed at the conversation.

"Good enough," Wyatt said. "Beats having to work all evening trying to cut them out."

Jake nodded as did Quinn and Nate.

"How's the family?" Wyatt asked.

"Good," Jake answered. He knew the polite thing would be to ask about Wyatt's, but he really didn't want to hear about his oldest daughter.

"Mom's having a baby," Cody was all smiles.

"Yeah?" Jake smiled at the youngster. "So's Nate's wife."

"Cool," Cody smiled at Nate.

Nate nodded at Cody.

Dawn noticed that Jake's and Wyatt's eyes met briefly. She wondered at it.

"Take care of yourself, Jake," Wyatt told him. "I might have a horse coming in next week."

"Great," Jake responded. "Let me know and I'll be there."

Wyatt nodded and touched the brim of his hat again in Dawn's direction. He and his son rode off.

"You train horses for him?" Dawn asked.

"Yeah, sometimes," Jake told her.

"How long have you been doing that?" Dawn wondered.

Jake flicked his eyes to those of his brothers.

"Since I was about twelve," Jake said.

Dawn's jaw dropped. "Twelve?"

"Jake's very good with horses," Quinn told her. "He trained the one you're riding."

Nobody mentioned who Jake had trained that horse for.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

"How did you get these scars?" Dawn asked Jake later as they lay together in Jake's bed after making love.

"Horse," Jake held her in his arms.

"A horse did that?" touching his arm and his leg.

"Yeah, a stallion," Jake said.

"What about this one?" Dawn touched the one on his thigh.

"Broken leg," Jake replied.

"One where the bone poked through?" Dawn bent to kiss it.

"Yeah," Jake nodded. "I was sixteen, I think."

"You've been pretty beat up," Dawn said, lifting her head and pressing her lips against his.

Jake smiled against her mouth.

"Part of the job," he shrugged.

"I love you, Jake," Dawn told him, kissing his full mouth again.

Jake breathed in through his nose and let it out.

"I love you too," Jake responded.

Dawn leaned away from him. "Do you really?"

"Yeah I do," Jake wished the light was on, but Dawn didn't like to make love with the lights on.

"Oh Jake," Dawn threw herself at him, happy that this man loved her.

Jake caught her to him, his mouth meeting hers.

Dawn lay on her stomach afterwards as Jake lay on his back next to her.

She crawled over to lie against his chest.

"I do love you," Jake told her, kissing her forehead.

"I love you too," Dawn sighed, happy to have this man in her life.

A year passed. The roughest day for Jake was his birthday that year. It was the one year anniversary that _she_ had cheated on him and ripped out his heart. Jake spent it with Dawn, trying to exorcise the past by making love to his future.

Dawn was fitting into his family pretty well. It seemed everyone liked her. She was taking a few courses locally to expand her education. She had gotten her degree in teaching, which pleased Mom greatly. Dawn had plans to start applying for teaching jobs soon.

Even the wives seemed to like Dawn. Sometimes Debi, Vanessa and Cara met Dawn for a girls' night out. They'd go to a restaurant, maybe a movie or just go shopping without the guys. Jake was grateful that his brothers' wives made an effort to include Dawn in their activities.

Vanessa gave birth to a girl in the spring. The happy parents named her Nicole, but called her Nikki for short. She was a happy baby and looked almost identical to Hunter.

Debi became pregnant again and though she and Quinn had been worried about twins again, she gave birth to a son. They named him Seth.

Dawn went with Jake on the cattle drive that summer. Grace welcomed her, which Jake was grateful for. They had exchanged a look and Jake could see the sadness in Grace's eyes. Jake had to look away. He couldn't, he wouldn't think of _her_ anymore or what might have been.

Dawn however, asked him about the other ranch which was on roundup with them.

"It's her ranch isn't it?" Dawn asked one night after she and Jake had made love in the tent.

"Yeah," Jake nodded. "We've always gone on roundup together. We're partners in the horse training."

"Isn't it strange?" Dawn wondered.

"It was," Jake admitted. "Not so much anymore."

"Do you think of her much?" Dawn hated to ask, but knew she must.

"No," Jake tightened his arms on her, shaking his head.

He was telling her the truth. He didn't think of _her_ much any longer. Every once in a while, something would remind him of her, but the memories were few and far between anymore.

"I love you Jake," Dawn told him.

"I love you too," Jake murmured and it was the truth.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

Another year past and the anniversary wasn't as painful. Jake spent the day on the range as he normally did and he spent the night with Dawn in his room in the house.

The following February, Jake asked Dawn to marry him. She accepted the single diamond ring that Jake had bought for her.

Mom was thrilled and vowed to help start planning the wedding immediately.

"I booked the church for June twentieth," Dawn told Jake. They were relaxing in the sunporch on the wicker couch there. Jake had his arms around her as she leaned into him, his feet up on the small wicker table in front of the couch.

Jake froze.

"Why that day?" he asked as calmly as he could.

"Actually it was the only date I could get with the hall," Dawn responded. "Is there something wrong with that day?"

Jake shook his head. There was no way he was going to tell Dawn that it was _her _birthday. He wished he couldn't remember that fact.

"Then I guess that's the day we're getting married," Jake shrugged.

"It's okay?" Dawn wondered, looking at him.

"Sure," Jake nodded. "I'll be there. Just tell me when and where." He grinned down at her.

"Will you be wanting all of your brothers to stand up with you?" Dawn asked.

Jake nodded. "I'll ask Nate to be my best man, I guess."

"Why Nate?" Dawn was curious.

"He and I are probably the closest," Jake shrugged again. "I need to check when Vanis is due."

Nate's wife was once again. So were the rest of the wives. Mom was thrilled at the prospect of all the new grandchildren. Jake knew she couldn't wait until Dawn became pregnant too. It would be awhile since she was now taking birth control.

"Your brothers are very prolific," Dawn laughed.

"Yeah, that's what happens when you make love to your wife every night," Jake laughed.

"Every night?" Dawn was shocked.

"Well that's what they say," Jake told her. "I don't witness it or anything so I don't know for sure. Their wives sure smile a lot, so I wouldn't be surprised."

Dawn's mouth formed an O and Jake chuckled as he shrugged.

"You guys discuss all that?" Dawn wondered.

"We're guys," Jake shrugged again.

She couldn't help but wonder if Jake discussed what they did together with his brothers. She blushed at the thought.

"They talk, I listen," Jake assured her, knowing why she was blushing.

"Okay," Dawn was relieved. Jake saw it on her face.

"That's them, not me," Jake reminded her.

"Okay," Dawn said again.

Jake rubbed her arms and Dawn sighed.

"I love you a lot, Jake," Dawn whispered.

"I adore you, Br…Dawn," Jake corrected quickly.

He felt Dawn's eyes on him, but he didn't look at her.

My gosh, he had almost called her Brat. Jake hadn't thought of the nickname in years. Why now? She was out of his life forever and he would be marrying Dawn in a few months.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

As the wedding got closer, Jake found himself a bit out of sorts with himself. His family noticed that he seemed distracted. Jake and Dawn were having a house built next to Quinn's and when Jake wasn't working the ranch, he was usually working on the house with his brothers, trying to get it done. It wouldn't be ready by the time he and Dawn got back from their honeymoon in Hawaii, but he hoped to have it done by the fall.

He wasn't sure what was going on with him. Jake had actually dreamt of _her_ last night.

During the days, Jake was more quiet than normal. During the night, he wasn't sleeping much. Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw her.

It had been years since he had dreamt about her. Why now?

Jake had asked Dawn to stay with him for a few days. Maybe that would banish the unwanted dreams.

He kissed her, wanting to make love to her the instant they were alone in his room.

He tucked her into his chest and Dawn snuggled into him afterwards, sighing as she told him how much she loved him.

"I love you too," Jake kissed the top of her head.

The next morning Dawn discovered a hole in her sock.

"Darn," Dawn held up the sock, sticking her finger through the hole.

Jake was on his way out of his room to take a shower. He grinned as she wiggled her finger in the hole at him.

"Take a pair of mine," Jake pointed at his dresser. "They're mixed in with my underwear. Top drawer."

"They'll be too big, but I will, thank you," Dawn smiled and waved her finger through the sock hole as he laughed and shut the door behind him.

Dawn sighed. She loved Jake a lot and couldn't wait to be his wife. Oh gosh, she had so much to do before their wedding.

Sighing again, she got up and went to the drawer that he had indicated. He sure did have a lot of socks and underwear in there.

She stuck her hand in and grabbed a pair of socks. Her hand hit something hard. What on earth?

Her hand burrowed in and grabbed what she had felt. It was a box. Could Jake have bought her a gift?

Her curiosity got the better of her and she opened the box. The brilliance of the three diamonds in the ring took her breath away. She looked down at the engagement ring he had given her and wondered if he would give her this new one on their wedding day as a surprise.

Dawn glanced towards the door, hoping Jake wouldn't catch her and took the ring out of the box, pulling off her engagement ring and putting it on top of the dresser for a moment.

She slid the ring on her finger. It didn't fit. It was too small. Surely Jake knew her ring size since he had her engagement ring sized to fit her finger.

Dawn was confused by the ring not fitting and also by the gold turtle necklace and matching earrings. She didn't particularly care for turtles. Were they supposed to represent something? If so, she didn't know what.

Scared of being caught looking at the beautifully gorgeous ring, Dawn quickly put it back in the box and shoved the box back under the underwear and socks in the drawer. She quickly put her ring back on.

Grabbing the socks, she went back to the bed and pulled them on.

Jake came through the door a few moments later. He smiled softly at her when he came in. Dawn couldn't help admiring his hard body. He was very fit and actually more than handsome. He was a gorgeous man. Sam had been a fool to cheat on him.

Sam!

Suddenly, Dawn glanced back at the dresser, realization setting in. That ring wasn't a present for her. That ring had belonged to Sam. She didn't understand the whole turtle thing, but there was no doubt in Dawn's mind that they had belonged to Sam.

"What's wrong?" Jake asked, grabbing a pair of underwear and socks out of his drawer.

"Nothing," Dawn shook her head in denial.

Jake gave her a look, not sure if he believed her, but he got out a pair of jeans and a clean t-shirt. He pulled on the underwear and sat on the bed to put on his socks.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

"You found some socks?" he wondered, standing up and slipping on his jeans.

"Yes."

Jake glanced at her again.

"I really should get home," Dawn said. "I have some studying to do.

"You should have brought it with you and done it here," Jake was confused. "I thought you were staying for a few days."

"I had forgotten it," Dawn responded.

"Are you sure?" Jake asked.

Dawn nodded.

"Okay," Jake said, standing up and putting on his t-shirt.

She watched as he tucked it into his jeans and then put on his belt. Then he put on his boots.

"I'll walk you out," Jake held out his hand to her. Dawn grabbed her bag before taking his hand.

"Will I see you tonight?" Jake asked.

"I'm not sure when I'll be done studying," Dawn answered.

Jake glanced down at her and Dawn wouldn't meet his eyes. Something had happened while he had been taking a shower and he wondered what it was.

"Are you leaving Dawn?" Mom asked when the couple reached the kitchen.

Jake's brothers and their wives looked up from the table.

"Yes, I need to study," Dawn repeated her story.

Mom glanced at Jake who shrugged behind his fiancée.

"Plus I suppose you need to do things for the wedding?" Mom smiled.

Dawn looked surprised for a moment.

"Yes of course," Dawn nodded. "I need to go."

"I'll walk you out," Jake told her and the two of them left the kitchen.

"Are they fighting?" Bryan asked.

"It didn't look like it to me," Cara responded.

"They were holding hands," Debi nodded. "They wouldn't be if they were fighting."

"No, her hands would be around his neck like you always threaten me," Quinn grinned at his wife.

The rest of them snorted.

"We've all threatened that at one time or another," Mom teased.

Quinn's jaw dropped at his mother making a joke like that.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Jake asked Dawn as she tossed her bag into her car.

"I'm fine," Dawn assured him, but she wouldn't look at him. "I just have my mind on other things."

"The wedding?" Jake guessed.

"Yes, of course," Dawn answered.

"Look at me," Jake put his hand on her chin and forced to look at him. "Tell me what's wrong."

"What could be wrong?" Dawn responded. "You love me, right?"

"'Course I love you," Jake was confused at what was going on. "We're getting married soon."

Dawn tilted her head at him. Then she slowly nodded her head.

"I need to get home," Dawn broke her chin out of his hand and gave him a quick kiss.

"Call me later when you have a chance," Jake said as she slid in behind the wheel.

"Okay," Dawn gave him a brief smile but it didn't reach her dark eyes.

Jake stepped back when she shut the door and then started the car. She waved briefly as she pulled out.

Jake stood in the ranch yard, rubbing the back of his neck. He went back into the house.

"Dawn all right?" Mom asked her youngest son.

"Yeah," Jake nodded.

"She seemed upset about something," Mom went on.

Jake didn't answer, getting himself a cup of coffee before sitting down and helping himself to the food.

"She said she was fine," Jake murmured.

Jake was going over everything in his mind, trying to figure out what had happened. All he knew is that she had needed socks and Jake had told her where to find some before he had taken a shower.

Had she wanted to take a shower with him? If so, all she had to do was say so or go with him. He'd never tell her she couldn't take a shower with him. In fact, he'd have loved it if she had. He used to love taking a shower with… No! He couldn't think of Sam anymore.

Suddenly, Jake's head jerked up and he turned his head towards his room. He scrambled out of the chair, surprising the rest of his family.

"Jake?" Mom called his name, but Jake was already out of the kitchen. The rest of the family looked at each other in confusion.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

Jake almost ran to his room. He jerked open the top drawer and found the box he had put in there years before.

He moved to the bed and sat down heavily on it, staring at the box in his hand. Somehow Jake knew that Dawn had found the box. That's why she was so upset.

Jake debated with himself whether he should open it. Would he be opening Pandora's box?

He had been thinking a lot about Sam lately. Yes, he could now say her name and not want to curl up into a ball in misery. He was surprised and wasn't sure when that had happened. Or why.

Jake took a deep breath and opened the box. The stabbing pain shocked him. He almost dropped the box, the pain was so great. He'd made a mistake by opening it.

The brilliance of the stones almost blinded him, just as Sam's beauty had almost blinded him at one time. He had loved her and it hadn't been enough. Why hadn't it been enough?

Jake sighed deeply.

"What's wrong honey?" Mom asked from the doorway.

Jake tore his eyes from the ring and the turtle jewelry to look up at his mother. She saw the anguish in his face again and she became alarmed. Then she saw what he held.

"I thought you were getting rid of those years ago," Mom yelped. "Jake, what are you doing?"

"I think Dawn found them this morning," Jake told her.

"Oh honey," Mom sat on the bed next to him.

"I didn't get rid of them because I thought to have the stones made into something for my nieces," Jake murmured.

"Then why don't you?" Mom asked.

"I don't know," Jake admitted.

"Jake, you've been doing so much better," Mom put her arm around his waist. "I'd hate for you to start hurting all over again because of what she did to you."

Jake nodded.

"You're marrying Dawn soon," Mom reminded him, as if he needed reminding. "You love her, don't you?"

"Yes," Jake nodded.

"Then put the past away for good," Mom suggested. "Dawn's your future now."

Jake nodded again.

"I'm worried about you, honey," Mom went on.

"I'm okay Mom," Jake assured her. "I'm just a little spooked right now."

"About marrying Dawn?" she wondered.

"No," Jake shook his head. "I'm sure about that."

"Everyone gets pre-wedding jitters," Mom smiled at him.

Jake looked at her and tried to smile back.

"I'm okay, Mom," Jake said again.

"You scared me when you were so depressed," Mom admitted.

"I scared myself," Jake tried to joke. It fell flat.

"Decide what to do with that and do it," Mom pointed at the box. "Don't leave it around to brood over. Maybe have the ring resized and give it to Dawn."

"I can't give her another woman's ring," Jake shuddered.

"Make it into a pendant," Mom suggested.

"Maybe," Jake nodded. He shut the lid on the box with a snap.

"She broke your heart," Mom mused.

"Yeah, she did," Jake sighed.

"You found love again with Dawn," Mom said.

"Yeah, I did," Jake smiled a small smile.

"Follow your heart, honey" Mom told him. "One woman broke your heart, another healed it."

"Thanks Mom. I'm okay. Really I am."

"I love you Jake," Mom hugged her youngest son, her most sensitive son.

Jake squirmed a bit and Mom released him. Jake got up and put the box back in his drawer and left the room to go back to his breakfast.

Mom sat on the bed, staring at the drawer. She didn't want Jake getting hurt like that again. She had been so afraid for him then.

With her own sigh, she stood up and followed her son out of his room.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

Jake was finishing up the horse in at River Bend for training before his wedding. He'd be gone a week and so he wanted to get this horse done so Wyatt could sell him.

When he pulled Witch up at the hitching rail, he had immediately smelled the lavender from Grace's garden. Lavender always made him think of Sam. Jake sighed as he dismounted. His life with her was over. She had made sure of that. He was marrying another woman in a few days.

He and his brothers had gotten their final fittings for their tuxedos. Kit and Cricket were due in later today from Hawaii. The rehearsal dinner was tomorrow. Jake and Dawn would be marrying the day after that. Two days. He'd finally be a married man in two days.

Jake shook his head, dispelling the image of _her_ that popped into his head. What was wrong with him lately? She disturbed his sleep, she disturbed his awake time.

He thought that if she were standing right in front of him, it wouldn't change anything. He had moved on.

He had recently heard a song which had summed up his feelings exactly. It had surprised him how the song had made him feel. Gosh, he had to stop listening to the radio again. Too many songs still reminded him of Sam.

She had broken his heart. Dawn had healed it. Dawn had made him whole again. He needed to remember that, like Mom had said.

Jake put on his gloves and went to gaze into the round pen at the horse he would be finishing up today. It was a nice bay gelding. A mustang like Ace. He'd make a nice safe horse for a first time owner by the time Jake was done with him.

Jake planned on riding him out of the pen today, onto the playa to see how he'd do. He didn't anticipate any problems.

"Hey Jake," Dallas came out of the bunkhouse.

"Hey Dallas," Jake greeted the older cowboy. He nodded towards Pepper and Ross.

"Finishing up before the big day, huh?" Pepper said.

"Yeah," Jake nodded.

"Good luck on the marriage, Jake," Ross told him.

"Thanks Ross," Jake murmured, suddenly aware that all four of them were thinking of Sam.

Jake shook his head as if he could shake her out of it. Dallas, Pepper and Ross glanced at each other, each knowing that they were all thinking of the woman Jake had planned to marry before.

"See ya, Jake," Pepper said, rushing to get out of there. Ross and Dallas were right behind him.

Jake sighed, knowing what they were doing. If only it were that easy.

He went into the barn and got the tack he'd need. Jake caught the mustang and saddled him up and swung up on him before taking the horse out towards the range.

Jake's mind tried to wander, but he kept it on the business at hand. He tried to anticipate the mustang. He didn't want to end up flat on his back with a possible broken bone two days before his wedding. He didn't think either Mom or Dawn would be very happy with him.

Jake chuckled to himself as he rode. He remembered Mom's reaction when she saw the bruising after playing football before Adam's wedding.

He hoped Mom was ready because he planned on playing football with all five of his brothers later today once Kit and Adam arrived. Gosh, he was getting married in two days.

Jake shook his head in wonder.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

"Hey Jakey," Kit greeted his little brother when Jake came into the house later.

"Hey Kit," Jake was smiling. He'd had a good day with the mustang and had told Wyatt that the horse was done.

"You look happy," Kit remarked.

"I am," Jake told him.

"I'm glad, Jakey," Kit put his hand on his brother's shoulder.

Jake noticed that Cricket was watching the two of them closely.

"I need a shower," Jake said. He headed towards his room, peeling off his t-shirt as he went down the hallway.

"He's happy Cricket," Kit told his wife.

"He won't be," Cricket predicted. "He needs to know. He has a right to know. Then he can make up his mind."

"Let's go into my room," Kit grabbed Cricket's hand and pulled her towards the room he used to occupy. "I don't want anyone overhearing us."

"Don't want your family to know you lose arguments?" Cricket teased.

"Exactly," Kit grinned at his wife.

They reached his room and he shut the door behind them.

"I don't think it's wise," Kit continued.

"How can you not?" Cricket countered. "You owe it to him to tell him."

"What would it accomplish?" Kit wondered.

Cricket threw up her hands. "He has a right to know. It might change the way he feels."

"He's getting married in two days," Kit reminded her.

"And that probably won't change," Cricket argued. "That doesn't mean he doesn't need to know."

"All this will do is open a can of worms that shouldn't be opened," Kit shook his head.

"A can of worms, as you called it, that he needs opened," Cricket wasn't giving up.

"Why?" Kit asked. "What will it do for him?"

"Possibly give him closure," Cricket responded. "Put yourself in his shoes."

"We don't wear shoes," Kit teased.

Cricket gave him a look which caused Kit to lose his teasing grin.

"Shoes, boots, whatever," Cricket retorted, exasperated with her husband. "The point being, if you were him and someone kept this information from you, how would you feel?"

Kit's eyes met those of his wise wife.

"Pissed," Kit admitted. "This is going to upset him."

"More than likely," Cricket agreed. "He still needs to know."

Kit rubbed his forehead, wishing away the headache that was threatening him.

"I'm not sure how to tell him," Kit almost whispered.

"Gently," Cricket suggested.

Kit couldn't help the snort. "Gee thanks for that, honey."

"You're welcome," Cricket gave it right back to him.

"Poor bastard," Kit murmured.

Cricket nodded sadly.

"When do you think I should tell him?" Kit asked.

"The sooner the better, I think," Cricket shrugged.

Kit looked towards Jake's room as if he could see his younger brother through the walls. Finally he nodded. Cricket came to him and hugged him.

"You're doing the right thing," she told her husband.

"I wish I knew for sure you were right," Kit responded. "I just feel like I'm opening old wounds."

"Or healing them," Cricket countered.

Kit kissed his wife's cheek. "You always have the last word don't you, wife?"

"Of course," Cricket teased him.

Kit couldn't help the chuckle. With a great sigh, he opened the bedroom door and looked down the hallway. Jake was just coming out of his bedroom, his hair still damp from his shower.

"No time like the present," Kit muttered, but Cricket heard him.

"Do you need me?" Cricket asked.

"Always, but no," Kit shook his head. "I think I should do this alone."

Cricket gave her husband a quick kiss and with one last look at Jake, she went back into the main part of the house. Jake had seen the look that Cricket had sent him.

"What's going on?" Jake asked. "You two fightin' or lovin'?"

"A little of both," Kit tried to grin, but it came out as a grimace instead. "Listen Jake, I need to talk to you."

"About what?" Jake asked.

"Your room or mine?" Kit asked his little brother.

"That serious?" Jake looked at his brother.

"It could be," Kit said.

"Mine then," Jake told him and the two went down the room back towards Jake's room. Kit shut the door behind him.

"Do I need to sit down?" Jake joked.

"You might," Kit murmured, looking at Jake. Jake thought he was almost accessing him.

Kit began speaking, telling Jake what he had to tell him. Jake's emotions went from shock to disbelief, back to shock as he sunk down to sit on his bed as his world came crashing down around him.

© 2009 – LB  
Characters © Terri Farley


End file.
